


god of the garden

by seonghwasheart



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Angst with a Happy Ending, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, God Seonghwa, Happy Ending, I suck at tagging, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, choreographer san, choreographer wooyoung, dancer yunho, hongjoong is lonely, hongjoong needs a nap, hongjoong wants to become a producer, no beta we die like men, nymph yeosang, producer mingi, rated m because there's so much swearing, seonghwa adores him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:01:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 33,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24244681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seonghwasheart/pseuds/seonghwasheart
Summary: Hongjoong, an overworked, tired, aspiring producer meets a strange man in his local garden, and discovers he can't quite get the man out of his mind.Or, Seonghwa is the lone god of a garden, and Hongjoong falls in love.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 258





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is an idea I couldn't get out of my head and have been working on while writing Reservoir Chronicle. I was going to make it one big thing, but decided to make a second chapter for the smut/other things. Like I said in the tags, Jongho will be in chapter 2, and the others will be there more as well!
> 
> Enjoy! Thank you for reading!

~xXx~

Hongjoong was tired. Understandably so for someone who had quite literally been awake for 36 hours. But he had to work. If he didn’t work, he didn’t get paid. If he didn’t get paid, he couldn’t afford his part of his and Mingi’s rent. And he wasn’t about to put his best friend through another month of him being a little short. Or, worse, paying it and lying about how much money he had for groceries. Which was none. 

Hongjoong made songs and sang guide tracks for a living. Currently. He sometimes filmed youtube videos of himself covering songs and doing his own mixes, and he did alright, but he could only do that when he wasn’t making music. And also working at a music shop a couple of blocks over. 

So, yeah, Hongjoong was exhausted. 

He had met Mingi when they were both in high school, chasing dreams of becoming  undergound rappers or idols, dreams of becoming stars that shined on a stage. Hongjoong had auditioned a thousand times for every company he could for years on end, but never made it past a second audition. Mingi had made it in one company as a producer, which was where he had met Yunho, his boyfriend, who was there as a backup dancer. 

Hongjoong worked even harder after that. He was overjoyed for Mingi, but still couldn’t deny the jealousy brewing in his heart. But Hongjoong was nothing if not persistent. He would do anything he possibly could for his dreams. He and Mingi both didn’t make a lot, but Mingi had the steady income. Hongjoong was too old to be an idol now, the training would take too long, and besides... maybe being a producer would be good too . Yeah, he could shoot for that. 

Yunho had started staying over with them more and more since he and Mingi had started dating months before, and don’t get Hongjoong wrong, he loved Mingi.  He loved Yunho too. He didn’t love walking in on them in some very compromising positions where he made food, though. And they always apologized, and Hongjoong was forgiving,  it was fine. But he sensed that soon they would want their own place, two people with  steady incomes and their careers ahead of them. And Hongjoong had no idea what he was going to do. 

“I won’t leave you, hyung. Neither of us will. I’m not going to make you fend for yourself.” Mingi had told him one day when Hongjoong was having one of his very tired, stress induced breakdowns. He couldn’t ask Mingi to put his life on hold for him.  Not more than he already had. If he and Yunho were serious about  being together and wanted to move in together, godspeed to them. He wouldn’t keep them from being happy just because he wasn’t. 

Hongjoong sighed and sat back, placing his glasses onto his little desk, and rubbed at his tired eyes. He was starting to get a headache anyways.  Or maybe he was just now noticing how much his eyes were protesting him staring at a screen for so long, even with blue light blocking glasses he had gotten off of amazon.  The song was… okay. It was alright. He had about five other drafts he was going to work on in the meantime, get the lyrics finished, and sell them off. As he always did. Some of them had gotten popular enough, but no one would ever know he was the writer.  He sold those rights away for a little more money. 

He contemplated making food and not just eating snacks when he heard a knock at his door. He knew that excited knock. It was Mingi. 

“Come in, Mingi.” His voice was a little raspier  than normal,  the tiredness really beginning to peek through. Mingi opened the door, smile so wide his eyes were turning into half moons. If Hongjoong has been any more awake, maybe he would have laughed at how happy he seemed. 

“Hyung, Yunho and I found this really cool flower garden earlier when we went for lunch. It’s like,  in this cool ass greenhouse, it has a lake and everything! It’s on the outskirts of town, apparently it used to be really popular during  the war, but we’d never heard of it? Anyways— we looked it up online,  do you want to go with us tomorrow? it’s free and has this really nice - looking restaurant!”

How was he supposed to tell Mingi no?  When he looked that excited about it? 

“I… Mingi, I have a lot of work to do, and  I don’t really want to play third wheel with you right now.” Normally he didn’t care, but the stress of his deadlines and his empty bank account were screaming in his already ringing ears. “ Don’t worry about me, go have a nice date.” 

This was not the response Mingi wanted, Hongjoong supposed, considering the younger puffed his cheeks out and crossed his arms over his chest, a disapproving head shake following suit . Hongjoong sighed again and tried to talk, but Mingi only held a finger up at him. 

“Hyung. We want to go out with you. When was the last time you left your room? And I mean  _ other _ than showering or going to get ramen from the convenience store next door.” 

Fine, a fair point. “I’m busy, Mingi. ”

“You’re always busy! Look— I know you work hard, I know it’s hard, but you need to get some sunshine and fresh air. ” Mingi walked in and sat himself down on Hongjoong’s bed, right behind where he sat at his desk.  “Please, let us help relieve a little bit of your stress. Come look at some fucking cool flowers and hey, get some song inspiration ! Take some notes, write some love songs! Hell— fall in love with someone in front of the flowers!” 

Okay, that actually made Hongjoong short a laugh and reach a very stiff leg out to kick at Mingi, who seemed overjoyed at the response. 

“I don’t have time to date, Mingi. Not all of us get jobs where our boyfriends work with us and blow us under our office desks.” 

“Did he tell you about that?” Hongjoong just.. stared. A stare that begged him not to elaborate on what he thought was just a joke. “Anyways, I don’t mean you have to  date. Just maybe find some pretty people, fall in love, leave! Come on, hyung, one day out. I’ll even buy you whatever you want when we eat!”

Hongjoong visibly paused after that comment. “… Meat?”

“Fuck yeah, meat!” Mingi pushed himself to stand,  one fist pumping in the air. “Does that mean you’ll go with us?” 

“I’ll go— but i’m not waking up at the crack of dawn. We can go in the afternoon.” 

Mingi hollered once again, and left the room pumping his fist still as Hongjoong heard the tell-tale sounds of him yelling for Yunho.  He had no idea what he had just signed up for. He prayed that it wasn’t some weird blind date thing. Or intervention. Or them gently letting him know that he was being kicked out. Did his friends hate him, or did he just need some sleep? 

He examined his appearance in the mirror  sitting  on his desk and, upon examining his eyes, decided maybe showering and sleeping would be his best  choice of action right now. 

Apparently, he was going to a garden. 

~xXx~

“So, where’s this  garden you’re so excited about?” 

Hongjoong was walking in between Mingi and Yunho who, much to his dismay, were doting heavily on him.  They couldn’t really hold hands in public without getting stares they weren’t comfortable with yet, which pissed Hongjoong off that people would even care, so they tended to just get their affection out by teasing him when they were in public. 

“Couple more blocks.  Promise it isn’t far.” Yunho smiled warmly at him, the excitement for the day twinkling clear in his bright eyes. Yunho really was a golden retriever of a man. Hongjoong thought he was a pretty good match for Mingi, all things considered. “Didn’t Mingi tell you what we were doing?  Those boots might not be comfortable to walk all day in, hyung.” 

“I’ll die for fashion, first and foremost. Second, he told me, but I guess I didn’t pay attention when he said how far away it was.” Yes, Hongjoong was going to die for fashion before he wore the active tennis shoes that Mingi and Yunho both had on. Same ones they wore to go hiking in. Active boys. Just the thought of needing special shoes  because you did outdoor activities enough was something that jade Hongjoong tired just  _ thinking _ about it. Horrible. 

Hongjoong wasn’t dressed for a garden, no, not like Yunho in his jeans and pastel colored t shirt, or mingi in his tank top and flannel tied around his waist. Hongjoong liked fashion. Liked reforming his clothes and standing out. So maybe the black boots he had painted butterflies all over , the jeans he had ripped himself, or the shirt he had tie dyed himself wasn’t exactly ‘soft garden date’ attire— but it was  _ Hongjoong _ attire. And he felt good in it.  His red hair only added to the overall feeling.

After a while more, they finally made it to the garden. Mingi was right, it really was old. Big, but radiated the art style of a  period gone by. There was something… charming about it. Maybe he really would find some inspiration here. 

Mingi got them their clips to wear on their shirts after they went to the front desk, and even handed Hongjoong a map of the place. The couple was already talking about what they wanted to see first when Hongjoong saw something on the map he wanted to see. Something about a relaxation spot near the small lake. 

“You two do whatever you want. We can meet back at the restaurant in a few hours.” Mingi and Yunho both frowned at that. 

“You sure? We wanted to bring you here  to have fun together and get you to let loose. You’re not leaving , are you?” Yunho glanced over to Mingi, who nodded to agree with Yunho’s concern. 

“Nah, I’ll be fine.  Gonna do a little research for songs. Relax a little.” Hongjoong waves a hand at them. “Seriously, stop looking like kicked puppies, go have fun!” 

“If you’re sure. Just text me if you need anything or want to meet up, ok?” Hongjoong just nodded at Mingi and waved the younger two off again.  Now that he was alone, he could leisure at his own pace. Find stuff he was interested in. Not be jealous of the fact that he didn’t have someone with him like they did. Someone that… understood him. 

Hongjoong shook his head. Now wasn’t the time. He entered into the gardens, eyes glancing at the beautiful glass of the huge greenhouse and made his way through the marked paths until he finally reached the little lake. 

It was a huge place, most of it marked off by  paths and ropes to show which flowers were which, but the place near the lake was a place where people could picnic and, well, relax.  It was nice.  Wildflowers everywhere, the sounds of people buzzing around him, it would do well for song inspiration. He found himself a place under one of the tree’s shade to sit, and  let his body have some time to relax. 

Really, when was the last time he had left the apartment for something like this? He couldn’t even remember anymore. Maybe that’s why Yunho and Mingi had been so concerned. They probably remembered the last time Hongjoong got some fresh air  and knew it had been weeks. Maybe months. 

Hongjoong let his head fall back against the trunk of the tree, letting the warmth of the sun warm his skin  as the light breeze being filtered through the building  whipped gently through his hair. He could fall asleep like that if he wasn’t careful. 

He stayed like that for a while, mind racing to think of possible song lyrics, of vibes for songs he could make, until someone walked up to him. 

“You look like you’re having fun.” 

Hongjoong startled at the  deeper voice speaking to him, his eyes snapping open to see… the most beautiful person he had maybe ever seen in his life. 

The guy was about his age, taller than he was,  with the  softest looking black hair and warm brown eyes he’d ever seen on someone. The guy was wearing white pants and a large white button up that was tucked in at the front and unbuttoned down his chest. His skin glowed like the sun that illuminated the figure from behind, and for a moment, Hongjoong was speechless. 

“I’m sorry, am I disturbing you?” The voice spoke again, bringing Hongjoong back to reality, just to see he was in fact awake and not still dreaming. The guy was very real, and looking very amused. 

“No! No, sorry. I was just thinking about stuff. I must have fallen asleep.” He  cleared his throat and let a little laugh out. “Was I snoring?” 

“No, not at all.” The guy laughed, light as air. “I hardly see people so comfortable that they  actually fall asleep around here.” 

So he really had fallen asleep. He hasn’t slept much the night before after Mingi talked to him, despite his body literally begging for it. “Don’t often see people fall asleep? Do you work here?” 

“In a manner of speaking, yes.” 

“Oh, shit.”  _ Now _ Hongjoong was wide awake. “Was I not supposed to? You’re not going to kick me out are you?” 

The guy, even more amused, just grinned and shook his head. “No, no, of course not.  It makes me happy to know the gardens can make someone feel that much at peace.  We work hard to make sure that everything stays beautiful. It makes me happy to see people love  it the way I do. I think it’s a comfort as well. May I sit with you?” 

Hongjoong nodded like an idiot and scooted over to make room under the shade for the man to sit beside of him. Even his side profile was beautiful. How could someone have a beautiful side profile? No one looked good from the wide. 

Hongjoong noticed, while trying not to stare, that the guy… wasn’t wearing shoes. Like, at all. Not even sandals. 

“I don’t mean to pry, but shouldn’t employers wear  like… shoes? Of some kind?”  The guy looked down at his feet, patting them against the soft grass, and just shrugged. 

“Not all of us want to be conventional, I suppose.  You would be surprised, no one has told me to wear shoes before. They let me do as I please.” 

The guy was a little weird, but there was some mysterious aura about him that kept drawing Hongjoong in, forgetting any of his precious concerns in its wake.  How, also, was he dressed in all white and didn’t have a single speck of dirt on his clothes or skin? If Hongjoong had been looking for song inspiration, he was definitely going to find it in this guy. 

“Well, no shoes and all white clothes in a garden isn’t too unconventional.  It kinda makes sense. Like a… fairy or something.”

The guy laughed under his breath again, and from the corner of his eye Hongjoong could see him nodding. “ Your shoes would fit in well here when we have the butterfly tent up. It’ll be a few more weeks until it’s warm enough for them, but  you should come back. Wear your butterfly shoes again.” 

Was the guy really complimenting his terrible paint job? “I made these forever ago. I could probably paint better ones before then.” 

“You painted these?” The man leaned up to examine the boots further, his fingers even delicately tracing over one of the blue butterflies. “They’re very good, but I don’t doubt you could do  even better now.” 

Was the guy flirting with him? Had he come over just to flirt with him? Not that he was complaining, he was going to take the fact that someone this attractive was flirting with him as perhaps the biggest compliment that he’s ever received. Ever. In fact, he might even take a few selfies for instagram today while he was in the garden.  Just because he was feeling that confident. 

“ Yeah, maybe I’ll paint an upgraded pair and come back when the butterflies are out. ” As long as he got to see the pretty guy again, of course. The guy sat back against the tree again, and Hongjoong found himself looking down at his hands in his lap.  “Hey, do you think I could maybe  get your number ? I can make you a pair of shoes too ?” Might as well shoot his shot if he could, right? 

When no answer came, Hongjoong turned to ask the guy if he had offended him, to which he saw the guy was… gone. In less than a few seconds. He bolted up and looked around the trees , in the crowd, but he saw absolutely no one.  How had he disappeared so quickly? Had he left before Hongjoong could ask for his number?

Feeling a little defeated, it was probably time for him to go and find Yunho and Mingi anyways.  But even as he walked towards the restaurant, he was looking over his shoulder to try and find the guy. Nothing. He saw other workers, but they all wore the same uniform. Did the guy really work there? Had he just been some crazy hippie Hongjoong ran into?  Regardless, Hongjoong still wanted to see him again. At least get his number. 

Dinner was nice. He listened to Mingi talk about the flowers they saw and how they had held hands , and no one said anything to them. How elated and happy they had felt walking around in this space all day. Yunho talked about the flowers and showed Hongjoong selfies they had taken together. Hongjoong was really, really happy for them. And something told him that guy would be too. 

He ate his meal in silence, not talking about his encounter with the man in all white. He just told them he found a place under a tree and napped, which was true enough. They laughed and didn’t seem surprised. Probably just happy he was resting and getting fresh air. 

He would have to work on worrying them less. 

~xXx~

The day out had been fun, but now Hongjoong was backed up on his work. 

Hongjoong managed to get enough inspiration for some new songs, was messing around with some beats,  and if he had checked the garden’s website a few times to try and find out if that guy was actually an employee, well, he hadn’t found him yet. Maybe he was a groundskeeper— but those were online.  Or a janitor of sorts. But why would he be without shoes?  It was obvious he wasn’t homeless; he was so well put together and eloquent, but… fuck, the mystery of that man was something he couldn’t get out of his head. And he had no idea why.

For the most part Hongjoong’s life went right back to his version of normal in the following weeks. He worked long, excruciating hours, but had started trying to cook more and do things for Mingi and Yunho to prove he was alive and not just thrusting himself closer and closer to a heart attack with every hour of sleep he missed. They seemed happy too. He was still anxious about them leaving him, but such thoughts were becoming fewer and fewer. He’d really been keeping himself back, hadn’t he? Forcing himself into isolation because he lacked a feeling of belonging, because of his own self-hatred.

Hongjoong had written a song about that day in the garden. He’d written a softer melody, something he hadn’t been known for, but one about finding comfort in one’s own skin through the allegory of walking through a garden. It was good, he liked it, he felt close to it, almost as though he had used it as a sort of outlet to help him work through some of his own feelings. He probably needed real therapy, but that was expensive and Hongjoong worked independently. 

He’d sold the song off without much thought, kept working on another, when his phone buzzed at… 7am. Who in the hell would be calling him so early? Sure, he had been up for about 20 hours working nonstop, but who else was awake so early? He let it ring twice before answering.

“Hello?”   
  
_“Hello, is this Kim Hongjoong?”_ He didn’t recognize the woman’s voice, but it didn’t sound like a spam call just yet.

“Speaking?”

_ “Hi, this is  _ _ Sungmin _ _ Entertainment, I’ve called because of your song ‘Garden’ that we  _ _ purchased _ _ from you recently.” _

Oh, this was unusual. He never really heard anything about his songs once they were in someone else’s hands. “Is something wrong with the file?”

_ “Oh, not at all. The reason I’m calling is _ _ actually to offer you a potential position within our company’s producers. We are considering beginning the formation of a girl group and believe you might be quite the asset given this song. Would this be something you’re interested in?” _

“Yes.” Hongjoong didn’t need a second to think about it. Fucking absolutely, he was interested in that. “I would absolutely be interested.”

_ “Wonderful. We’ll be calling you again soon to set up a _ _ meeting with you _ _. Have a lovely day, Mr. Kim.” _

“Yes, thank you.” And… he hung up. Holy shit

Hongjoong sat with his phone in his hand for a good ten minutes. Did he just hallucinate that? There’s no way in hell that song managed to get him a potential position with a company to help produce an entire girl group’s discography. Okay maybe that was a stretch, but still. That kind of experience would  make it a lot easier to get producing jobs in the future. Were his days of takeout food and convenience store snacks at 4am finally over?

He had to tell them.

Hongjoong, stumbling because of how stiff his body was, rushed down the hall to Mingi’s room. He didn’t care if they were awake, asleep, clothed, naked, whatever—he was telling him now.

“Wake up!” Hongjoong banged on the door until the two of them startled awake, then pushed himself between them in the bed. “It’s a beautiful morning, boys!”

“Holy shit, he cracked. He finally cracked.” Mingi rubbed at his eyes and tried to roll over so he was facing away from Hongjoong who, in his excitement, just rolled over and threw his arm and leg over Mingi’s body. Yunho groaned but sat up.

“I’m guessing you haven’t been asleep, but should we be concerned about why you’re yelling at us at… 7am?”

“Because today we’re going out to celebrate! The whole damn day!” Hongjoong unpeeled himself from Mingi and moved to sit at the end of the bed where he could face the two of them. At the mention of celebration, Mingi turned his body to look at him.

“You seriously cracked.”

“No—shut up, let me have this. Remember when we went to that garden a few weeks ago?” They both nodded slowly. “I wrote a song about it. A cute melody, whatever. It sold and the company just called me to offer me a position with them! They’re getting a girl group together and want me to help them make the music for them!”

“Girl group?” Mingi sat up finally, completely naked as Hongjoong feared, and rubbed at his sleepy eyes. “No offense, hyung, but girly music isn’t exactly what you’re known for.”

Hongjoong had thought of that. He did more EDM than anything else,  stuff that was harder, but he wasn’t going to pass up an opportunity. Even if it was just a starting point. It was the ability to have an easier schedule, despite more pressure. He wouldn’t squander for money. He could have his name on credits finally. He was so much closer to his dream.

“I know. I can’t let the opportunity slip past me, though. To finally, like, be recognized for my abilities. It’s more money I’m sure, and I can still produce my other stuff while I’m working. Build up a resume with this on top of it for the future.”

Yunho nodded understandingly at him. “Regardless, we’re really proud of you. We can celebrate today! Maybe we can go back to the garden and eat there? Since it’s  what inspired the song?”

Going back meant meeting that guy again, hopefully. Getting answers about who he was and what he was doing. And even thanking him a little, since part of the experience with him was included in the song. Hongjoong needed to shower and get dressed and make sure he looked very presentable this time when they met.

“Fuck yeah. Let’s do it.”

~xXx~

This time, Hongjoong was dressed a little nicer. Mingi and Yunho took no note of it, figuring he was just dressed nice because of the fact that he wanted to celebrate. Despite the warm weather, he was in black jeans, the black boots with the butterflies on them, and a blue button up he had tucked in and rolled up to his elbows, the top buttons of the shirt undone like the other man’s had been when they met. By now his red hair had faded to almost a rose gold color. 

Mingi had used the rest of his hair dye a week or two before to dye his own hair red because he thought it would look cool. Yunho, who bleached both of their hair and his own, had been the one to help. It came out good, but it meant Hongjoong hadn’t been able to freshen his color up before coming. Maybe he’d try something different soon now that he was going to be a producer.

Much like the man had told him before, there was a tent for the butterflies. Yunho and Mingi both wanted to go take pictures in it, to which Hongjoong politely declined under the guise of wishing to go and see the lake where he had napped that day. They waved him off, and Hongjoong kept his eyes peeled for the man. But he saw no one.

He found himself sitting under the tree again, though. Watching people  picnicking, playing with their kids, or reading under the light of the large greenhouse. Hongjoong watched the light reflect off the water of the small manmade lake, and though his point hadn’t been to come here and get song inspiration, he found himself taking pictures and making notes anyways.

“Well, if it isn’t the man in the butterfly boots.”

Hongjoong wasn’t sure how much time had passed when that voice finally spoke. He turned his head, heart beginning to flutter in his chest, to see the same man from before smiling knowingly at him. So he really was here today.

Today, he was glowing just as much as before, hair still styled the same way, but he had on white jeans rolled up his leg and a big white,  tucked in the front t shirt on. No shoes, though. Still as ethereal as ever.

“You ran away last time I was here. I was going to make you a pair of boots like mine to wear. Didn’t get your name and number, though.” Hongjoong watched the man eye him curiously, then just laughed. 

“I’m sorry. I was needed elsewhere. I would be honored to have a pair of boots made by you, though I don’t have a phone, I’m afraid.” The man sat himself down beside of Hongjoong, just like before. “Did you come to see the flowers and butterflies like I suggested?”

No name still. Hongjoong wouldn’t press yet. “Nah, I didn’t really look at the flowers much when I was here. I brought my friends here to celebrate me getting a new job. They’re in the butterfly tent, I think.”

“A new job? Congratulations. What do you do?”

“Well, I produce music. Before I was just making the songs and singing the guide tracks to send them off, make a little money, repeat the process. I made a song after visiting here and got offered a job finally at a company.” Hongjoong smiled and ran a hand through his hair. It was getting long enough to wear in a ponytail, almost. “I’ll finally have a stable income and a stable job that’ll look good on resumes. Thought I’d come back and thank the place.”

“Ah, good for you.” The man reached out and  patted Hongjoong on the shoulder. Despite the heat, Hongjoong felt the man’s hand was cold. It was then he noticed the guy wasn’t even sweating. He was… colder. “I’m glad the garden could make your wish come true.”

“—Can I ask you something?” Hongjoong blurted his words out the very second the man stopped talking, which surprised even him. “I tried looking you up on the garden’s website, but I couldn’t find a single thing about you. Do you actually work here, or were you shitting me?”

Hongjoong watched something flicker in the man’s eyes before he… smirked. He just smirked, he didn’t even answer, just smirked and quirked a stupid, perfect eyebrow up at him.

“You looked me up?”

“I don’t think it’s a bad thing to want to know who I’m talking to.”

The man nodded, silent, and looked out towards the lake while Hongjoong kept watching him from the side. Like he was contemplating something. Figuring out his lie, maybe?

“No, I suppose not. I do work here, though. Just because you couldn’t find anything about me doesn’t mean I don’t work and do things here. There are plenty of others with no specific title that work here. I’m honored you looked me up, though. You must be very interested to want my number and to look me up online.” The guy turned back to look at the lake, but the smirk didn’t leave his lips.

“You’re really going to make me bully you for your name, aren’t you?” This time, when the guy laughed, he was much louder. Joyful. Because he was enjoying this, wasn’t he?

“No, no. I just don’t get to tease people often. My name is Seonghwa.” Seonghwa. Finally, a name. Hongjoong held his hand out towards the other.

“Hongjoong.”

Seonghwa looked down at the offered hand before taking it in his own and giving it a little shake. “It’s nice to officially meet you, Hongjoong.”

“Will you tell me what you do around here now that we’re on a first name basis?” Hongjoong pulled his knees up to his chest, letting his arms rest folded on his knees. “I walked around for a while looking for you. Didn’t see you doing anything. Didn’t see you anywhere, in fact. You just appeared here.”

“To be fair, you’ve met me a total of two times in the past few weeks.”

Hongjoong had to give that to him, but it still didn’t make sense. Before he could talk, the guy actually spoke up again. “I tend to the flowers, mostly.  One of the many that keeps them alive and beautiful. They need watering and trimmed as anything else. I’m also one of the ones who writes the boards in front of the various flower exhibits we have. Every flower has a story, most people just aren’t aware of their meaning.”

Okay, there we go. An actual job. “Like what? Roses are my favorites. Red ones. Does that just mean I’m basic?”

“No, Hongjoong. You’re not basic.” Seonghwa finally relaxed more back against the tree, his own hands folded in his lap, deep eyes looking up towards the tree above. “They’re quite the flower. Most people associate them with romance. Love and all that. In the ancient world, they were associated with the goddess Aphrodite. She used their oil to protect Hector in the Iliad. Writers said the roses were red because Aphrodite pricked herself on one and bled onto it. So, love, yes, but in a sense… power. Strength. There’s a reason that so many people love them. They have a wide range of meaning.”

Oh, Seonghwa wasn’t kidding when he said he knew all about flowers. Hongjoong liked that, though. The stories behind the rose. “See, I like them because they’re complex. They’re beautiful, but they can be dangerous if you’re not careful.  Mingi gets Yunho roses sometimes and gets them without the thorns. I called him weak once and he hit me.”

“ _ Weak _ ?” Seonghwa laughed again, his hand coming up to cover his face. “I assume these are your friends that are dating? I would consider it romantic. Mingi trying to protect his boyfriend from getting hurt.”

“But the thorns are the tragically beautiful part, I’d argue.” Hongjoong found himself laughing too. When was the last time he was so content with his life? That he could sit under a tree with someone and just laugh about fucking flowers of all things?

“Tragic and beautiful, yes. But I don’t think it makes him weak.”

They sat in the comfort of silence for a little while more, both just allowing the atmosphere to fill the silence between them. It was nice. Hongjoong seriously wished Seonghwa had a phone or something. He didn’t mind coming to the garden to see him, but it would be nice to hang out with him. Maybe ask him on a date.

“You want to get dinner with me and my friends in a bit? We’re just eating at the restaurant here again probably. What time do you get off?”

Seonghwa took his bottom lip between his teeth, head hanging down. “I… can’t, unfortunately. I hope you understand.”

“Ah.” Hongjoong tried to not look too deflated at being turned down. “Not allowed to fraternize with visitors?”

“It isn’t that. It’s more complicated than that, I’m afraid.” Seonghwa was usually pretty calm and chill,  from what Hongjoong could tell, but whatever he was thinking about really bothered him. “But I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, don’t feel bad. I get it.” He waved a hand at the other man, offering him a smile as Seonghwa turned to face him. “I like spending time with you. You’re pretty chill. We seem to get along well, I just wanted to spend more time with you, I guess? You don’t have a phone or anything, so I thought I’d invite you now.” 

Seonghwa nodded his head like before, searching for the words to say. Hongjoong was afraid now the silence between them was becoming awkward. And it would have been all his fault.

“I agree, we get along well. Usually visitors humor me for a minute or two, but you’ve let me talk to you for quite a while both times. How about this. If you feel the pull to come back and find me, I’ll tell you why I can’t go with you. Does that sound alright?”

“It sounds cryptic, but… I guess? Sure, I’ll come back.” Hongjoong had planned on it anyways to see Seonghwa but saying ‘if you feel a pull’ was… cryptic. Quite the way to ask someone to come back. 

Seonghwa smiled again, something softer in his eyes. “Good. Perhaps next time we can discuss you making me a pair of boots like yours.” Seonghwa stood up and Hongjoong immediately followed suit, brushing off the back of his pants as he did so. Once more, Seonghwa had not a speck of dirt on him. His skin and clothes were in perfect condition.

“You have to teach me how you don’t get anything on you when you sit in the grass. And why the hell you’re so cold when it’s  _ summer _ .” Hongjoong looked away long enough to make sure there was no dirt on his boots, and when he looked back—of course Seonghwa was gone again. How the hell was he so good at that?

Hongjoong knew if he looked around, he wouldn’t find him, but he did still take some time to walk through the rows of roses that the garden had. Since Seonghwa was someone who took care of the flowers, he took time to admire them and the hard work his… friend put into it? Sure, maybe they were friends. He had no idea.

Even knowing his name and partially what his job was, Hongjoong still found himself thinking about the man, even through dinner. He’d occasionally glance out the windows to the gardens, wondering if he could see Seonghwa working. Not a thing. When asked, he just claimed he was daydreaming about his new job.

~xXx~

The interview had gone well. Hongjoong got the job, and got his own studio space to work in.

The space was small, but it was a wonderful start. He had a computer, proper equipment at his disposal, there was a couch and a small mini fridge , and there was room for shelves where he could display albums he had collected and things that would help inspire him.  He liked it. He finally felt like he was getting somewhere. 

Sure, he still worked endlessly, but now he could work endlessly in his studio. He could take naps on the couch and have food delivered now that he had the extra money to do so. Mingi and Yunho were happy for him, but warned him often not to overdo it just to prove to himself that he made the right choice. He wasn’t working himself too bad. It wasn’t as bad as before, right? 

Writing songs for a girl group proved harder than he had originally thought. But he was determined.  He had even started watching magic girl anime to try and find some ‘fighting spirit’ he could write about.  Maybe it was odd inspiration, but he would do anything to make a good song for them. Even if they only used part of it, he wanted his name on those credits. 

He had settled as well on penning his name as ‘Lucky’ to try and set himself apart from everyone else. To try and make a distinct brand for himself.  Now he could even have the equipment to work on his own music for a change. 

Oh, his own music. That would be amazing. He wouldn’t push the company quite yet into letting him do some work on his own. He needed to get a solid reputation before then. 

It had been two weeks since his new job started. It felt like two months. Never ending. Maybe sleeping in the studio was doing more harm than good for his circadian rhythm. 

One night while walking home, Hongjoong began to feel… a pull. Like an actual pull, physically, on his body. A want to go to the gardens suddenly filled his mind. Alright, that was… odd. He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and checked his phone to see the time was 2:09am.  He had thought about the gardens a few times, but he hadn’t really felt a need to go yet. Not with how busy his schedule was and the deadlines that he had. 

Yet here he was, 2am, wanting to go to the gardens again. 

He tried to  brush it off and walk in the direction of his apartment, but when he turned around— something tugged on him. He whipped around, ready to fight whatever touches him, but he was still the only person around. Then he remembered what Seonghwa said. If he felt a pull to come back, to come and talk to him. Had he meant… an actual, physical pull? 

Seonghwa was odd. Pretty, but odd. But there was no way he was some ghost that was out there tugging on his shirt or whatever. He wasn’t playing a joke, that wasn’t the demeanor that he had. 

“I can’t go in the gardens right now without it being trespassing.”  He turned to leave, but the energy pulled him again. Hongjoong let out a deep sigh. “I’m not— fine. I’ll walk there to make whatever you are stop.” 

Hongjoong had no idea why he was agreeing to this. It was stupid.  It was probably the wind or something that was messing with him. He was curious and he cursed himself for having such a curious mind. He didn’t even look good enough to see Seonghwa. He was in a huge, old sweatshirt, sweatpants, a beanie, and some old tennis shoes that  he’d had since he was in high school. Even had his glasses on. Seonghwa probably looked like gold. If he was even there. 

It took forever, but Hongjoong finally made it to the gardens. His eyes glanced around for  security cameras, the building dark and quiet, and decided not to get closer. He tried to turn, but that force  tugged him again.  Hongjoong turned back around to watch as some wind blew around him and up to one of the side doors. Which… opened once the wind hit it. 

“I literally refuse to get arrested for trespassing and lose my new job. Absolutely not.”  The energy he could not see  _ yanked _ him forward. Demanding. “Fine!” 

Hongjoong slowly made his way up to the door, creaking it further open as he snuck in. This was an absolutely terrible idea.  The entire place was dark, illuminated only by the stars and the moon above. He gently shut the door behind him and walked around the… roses. The rose section. 

“Hello? Is anyone there? Look, I got yanked here, I don’t mean to trespass.” Hongjoong looked around for a security guard or something, but only saw flowers. Why was he here? Why was there some stupid supernatural thing around him? He didn’t believe in anything like that, hence why the presence of it was a nuisance and not a fear, but it didn’t mean he understood it at all. 

He walked around to examine some of the roses, passing time, and was about to leave when he saw Seonghwa finally. 

The man was sitting on a bench under one of the trees lining the walkways, a cup of tea steaming in his hands. As always, he was dressed in white without shoes. Today, a silky  white robe, ties at his waist, with pants to match. He looked… ethereal in moonlight. He glanced up to see Hongjoong standing there, and despite Hongjoong’s  surprise, Seonghwa looked calm. Happy, even. 

“Ah. Hongjoong, you made it. Quite an hour too.” 

“I’ll say— what the hell was that? Can you explain why there was some weird energy thing tugging me here at 2– now 3am?!” Hongjoong didn’t raise his voice, but his distaste was evident. Seonghwa only frowned. 

“I apologize, the time was bad. I forget that sometimes. But the ‘energy’ has a name. It’s Yeosang.” 

“Yeosang?” Seonghwa nodded and motioned behind him. 

When he turned, he nearly jumped out of his skin. There was a  _ person _ there now. He was shorter than Seonghwa, but a little taller than Hongjoong. His hair was blond, brightly so, and he was dressed in all white as well. Ripped white jeans and a white sweater so large it covered his hands. The boy smirked and wiggled his fingers. 

“Holy shit, is this some fucking _cult_?” Yeosang laughed, a voice so deep from someone so beautiful, one Hongjoong would have never seen coming.  Seonghwa laughed a little too. 

“In a manner of speaking. I promise I’ll explain, Hongjoong.  Yeosangie , you’re dismissed. Thank you.” The boy gave a boy and, before Hongjoong’s eyes, disappeared with the wind.  Hongjoong turned his attention back to Seonghwa, who was patting the seat next to him. 

Hongjoong was hesitant, but trusted Seonghwa the slightest amount. So he sat down. “Look, i’m not joining some cult—“ 

“No, no, it isn’t like that. Really. Please allow me to explain?” Hongjoong gabe Seonghwa a look, but slowly nodded. What was he getting into? “You’ve looked me up a number of times and never found anything, yes?” A nod. “ Would you like me to explain that? And why Yeosang and I have the uncanny ability to disappear?” A more reverent nod. 

“Honestly, it would be appreciated. Especially after I was dragged here.” 

Seonghwa looked apologetic,  eyes glancing to the tea in his hands before letting out a breath. “I told Yeosang not to force you. But he was rather adamant to  bring you back for whatever reason. But allow me to explain.”

“This place was built right before the war broke out decades ago. For everyone’s enjoyment, of course. As most gardens are. But when the war broke out, when people began losing family, fearing they would never see them again, this place… well, this place changed, Hongjoong.  People would come here and relax, but they would pray. They would pray to whoever was out there  to protect their family. Some would bring charms, offerings, and even sneak flowers to take home to pray with. It was a place of comfort,  but suddenly it felt akin to that of a temple. Do you know who rules over temples, Hongjoong?” 

Hongjoong wasn’t really following, but he listened. “Gods?” 

“Yes.” This time, Seonghwa’s at him was gentle. “ Gods. But this is a flower garden. There is no god here. What people never understood in history is that gods are not beings that live  and are suddenly discovered and worshipped. Gods are created by the insistent need from people. If people pray to a god long enough, the god will suddenly exist. The people created a god for this place and never knew it.  Gods can answer prayers for the people that pray to them to an extent. The more prayers, the more power the god has. But a god in a garden is just that: stuck in a garden. What good could they do?” 

Seonghwa sat back and took a quick drink of his tea.  “They can make sure the area that brings comfort can be cared for. Tend to the flowers, speak to people, be known be remain mostly unseen. So long as the garden is beautiful and people come to find peace, the god continues to exist. But like all gods before,  when the need is gone, the god will die. Disappear into history. Some are recorded, most are not. Most are simply called spirits and nothing else. No name, just… gone. Sad, isn’t it?” 

Hongjoong looked quizzically at Seonghwa and was starting to think he was actually crazy. But he spoke with such conviction that you would think everything he said was true. “Why did you drag me here at 3am for that?” 

“ Yeosang was only to make you feel the pull. Not drag you here. .”  Seonghwa was a little more firm this time. “I felt it… necessary to tell you.  I could tell from speaking to you that the gardens have helped you immensely. Call it selfish, but I wanted you to come back. I wanted to continue helping.  I so rarely have the chance to talk to people who want to know me.”

“You’re not… you’re not seriously trying to convince me you’re some sort of god, are you?” Now Hongjoong was sure that Seonghwa was crazy. He has been kidnapped by a crazy cult leader. It was always the pretty ones. 

“I’m not trying to convince you, I’m just telling you what I am. The god of the gardens.  I felt it appropriate that you know. You’re one of the few who comes regularly enough to  see me, and wishing to know my name— well, I must have misread your intentions.”

Okay, now Seonghwa was not only crazy, he was hurt. “Yeah, I came here to see you twice, and I do want to get to know you. I said that before. But you have to understand how batshit crazy you sound right now. Gods? In  a garden?” Gods didn’t exist. They were fictional things people used to explain natural  occurrences . That was all. 

Seonghwa gave a little sigh, like he had expected him to say such a thing but wasn’t getting too upset. Maybe he’d done this a few times before with other people. Maybe no one believed him. Seriously, though, a  _ god _ ?

“I won’t force you to believe me, nor will I patronize you, but how about you explain how  Yeosang disappeared in front of your eyes? Or how I’ve done it countless times? You mentioned before I left last time about how my skin always seems cold. How about that?”

Hongjoong snorted. “Figured you were a vampire before I'd believe you were some sort of god.” But, to humor him,  Hongjoong went on. “Is  Yeosang supposed to be a god too?”

Seonghwa shook his head. “No,  Yeosang is a nymph.  Typically, they’re all female and work for female gods, but  given that I’m a god over the gardens and not a goddess... I was given a nymph.  Yeosang is as beautiful as any female nymph, of course. Nymphs can help with the fertile aspects of nature, so he helps me greatly with keeping the gardens up.”

“Okay, so he helps you do that, fine. He also snuck out to find me, not as fine, but... whatever. Okay—do the people that run this place know about you?” There were so many possible holes in this story that  Hongjoong felt dizzy trying to think of all the questions he had.

“Yes, actually. The business is run by a family, they all know of me. The employees know of me simply as a part-time employee, hence why they only occasionally see me.” Seonghwa’s soft smile returned as he looked over at Hongjoong. “It’s worked well for quite a long time. There are a few patrons who come here often who know of me too. None of them ever _personally_ wanted to know about me the way you have. I hope you understand why I wanted to tell you all of this.”

In a way, in a way where he believed him,  Hongjoong could understand. Probably because to  Seonghwa it felt like he was lying to him somehow. If other people who came and talked to him knew,  Hongjoong who came and talked to him should know. At least it somewhat explained why his white clothes never got dirty.

Not that he believed him.

“I  _ still  _ want to know why  Yeosang dragged me here at 2 in the morning.” 

“I-- I told him to pull you here when no one else was around so we could talk in private. I do not have a clock, nor do I really check them, I had no idea what time it  actually was . I told him to make you feel the pull to come back, just to plant the idea in your mind. I didn’t ask him to drag you here.”  Seonghwa’s fingers tapped against the side of his cup, lips still slightly parted. “He was insistent that you come back. He never really told me why.”

So, dragging him here against his will was  Yeosang’s idea. Wonderful.  “Maybe he was wanting to have a little fun, given I’m sure you guys never leave here.”

“No, I cannot leave.  Yeosang has more freedom as he isn’t really a deity. I’ve never left the gardens.”  Hongjoong gave him a wild look, but  Seonghwa only shrugged. “Deities may travel where their temples are. I only have this one. It’s... as  though there is a  wall that circles the gardens that I cannot get through. Believe me, I’ve tried.”

Hongjoong wanted to believe him because of how insistent and honest  Seonghwa’s voice was. Surely, surely, he understood why it was so crazy for him to believe something like this. Even if he had watched  Yeosang disappear, dragged here, seen  Seonghwa disappear too—there were other explanations for these things, righ t?

“You’re in your head,  Hongjoong .” The younger blinked up at  Seonghwa , who laughed under his breath. “I told you I wouldn’t force you to  believe me. But I wish there was something I could do... oh, actually , I haven’t demonstrated what I can do.”

Demonstrated what he could do? Hongjoong watched Seonghwa stand and place his teacup down, moving to a grassy area behind them. He turned in his seat to watch the supposed god kneel in the grass, something bright and beautiful twinkling in his eyes. 

“Watch closely, Hongjoong.”

Seonghwa brought two of his fingers to his lips, placing a  kiss to them, before pressing those fingers to the ground. His eyes closed and he whispered something  Hongjoong couldn’t make out before pulling his fingers back. Quickly,  Seonghwa placed his hand palm down to the grass, and when he pulled back—a rose began to bloom.  The god gave him one quick smile before plucking it from the ground, thorns and all.

“Because it’d be weak to not have thorns, right?”  Seonghwa smirked as  Hongjoong took the flower into his hands, careful to avoid the thorns he had teased  Mingi about before.  “Well? Does that help at all?”

“I-- it could easily be a magic trick. Like the rose was up your sleeve or  something or had been in the grass the entire time.”

“ Hongjoong , I’m in  a short-sleeved robe . You would have  _ seen  _ it.”

He placed the rose onto the bench and ran his hand through his hair, completely at a loss for words. Because sure, he would have, but there was no way in hell that  Seonghwa was a  _ god _ .

“Look. This is a lot, and I feel like I’m on an episode of  punk’d , and I think I just need to go home and think about this. Because—yeah. Yeah, I just need to go home.” He wasn’t going to stick around and just make  Seonghwa more upset. Maybe he really believed he was a god. Maybe  Yeosang was just making it worse. Or, maybe he really was some magical being.  Seonghwa gave him a rather upset frown, but he nodded.

“Of course. Yeosang can show you out.”

In the blink of an eye, the boy had returned beside  Seonghwa , waving his fingers from inside the sleeve of his sweater. How long had  Yeosang been hiding himself and listening to them? Didn’t matter.  Hongjoong wanted to go home and sleep this weird dream off.

“I’ll make sure he gets to the sidewalk.” Oh,  Yeosang had a  _ deep  _ voice. That laugh earlier was only a taste of it. How interesting, given he looked like a fairy or something. 

The supposed nymph walked him to the side door they had walked in from and back, silently, down the pathway to the sidewalk.  Yeosang didn’t give off a threatening vibe, he was fine, but  Hongjoong was very, very aware of his presence beside him. Maybe that was because  Yeosang wouldn’t let him get very far away from him before he’d catch up to walk directly beside of him.

“Hey.”  Hongjoong turned to the owner of the deep voice once they reached the sidewalk, surprised that he’d  actually said something to him. “ I know you don’t believe us, but... he really does like having you around. He mentioned you to me each time you came. Mentioned a few times that roses were your favorite. Enough for me to know they were.”

Well,  _ that  _ felt a little like guilt tripping. But  Yeosang was smiling at him. He meant well, so  Hongjoong didn’t call him out on it. “It’s a lot to swallow.”

“I know. For us, this is our normal. We forget since it’s just us that it isn’t everyone’s normal.”  Yeosang tugged at the ends of his sweater. From nowhere, the boy pulled the rose that  Seonghwa had made for  him and handed it over. “Sorry I dragged you here. Thought it’d make both of you happy.”

Hongjoong gave the other a little smile and patted him on the shoulder after taking the rose . Yeosang was just trying to good by  Seonghwa , but clearly hadn’t had as much time with people as the other had. “Yeah, I get that. I’ll come o n my own accord next time.”

Yeosang gave him a little smile and a nod, then, as before, disappeared with the wind around him. Just him and  Seonghwa all this time, huh? Even if they weren’t gods, only having one friend for that long had to be lonely. Maybe they just wanted friends.  It explained why  Seonghwa couldn’t go out to dinner with him and his friends. Didn’t want to be seen. Or just couldn’t go in that part of the garden.

Hongjoong stuffed his hands into his sweatpants and slowly walked the rest of the way to his and  Mingi’s apartment, thankful that today was his day off and he’d have some time to sleep and think about everything that happened.

He flinched every time the wind hit him.

~xXx~

Hongjoong , in fact, did not go to sleep when he got back. He tried, it was 5 in the morning, but he couldn’t bring himself to. Not when the mystery of the god in the garden was on his mind.

He tried looking up as much as he could about the gardens online. Their website was a little outdated, told a brief history, and there weren’t many recent articles about the place. The family who had built it had been wealthy, of course, and had wanted to give something back to the city they had  all grown up in.  So, they built the gardens before the war.  Seonghwa had been right, though. A lot of little snippets of history he found stated how much the gardens had meant to people during wartime.

He found a few things saying no one really knew how the flowers stayed so beautiful and plentiful when no one had really cared for them during the war. But they had blossomed and bloomed and been... a safety for some people. But there was no record of who worked there during the time, and most of the men in the family had been shipped off. But the gardens stayed open since the flowers never died.

Hongjoong tried looking more up. Tried to find records, pictures—anything. But the gardens were so old that no one had really written about them online. He glanced to the rose he had been givne, sitting alone on his desk, and sighed. His best bet was going to have to be checking public records at the library. He hadn’t been in a library since high school.  When did it even open?

He glanced to the clock to see it was 9am. Oh, surely it was open. Did libraries close? 

He should probably shower, change his clothes, but he really,  really, just wanted to get some form of an answer. He emerged from his room, rubbing at his eyes under his glasses, and met  Yunho in the kitchen.

“Hyung? What time did you get home?”  Yunho was pouring himself a bowl of cereal, his expression shocked to see  Hongjoong a mess, probably. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Fine. I got home  really late . Had something to take care of.” He hopped up onto the counter next to  Yunho without a second thought. “... Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“If  Mingi came up to you and told you something unbelievably crazy, would you believe him? Like,  Mingi suddenly tells you that he’s a Power Ranger. Maybe shows you something that  kinda makes it seem like he’s a Power Ranger. Would you believe him?”

Yunho looked at  Hongjoong as though he had grown an extra head and held his hand up to rest against  Hongjoong’s forehead. “Are you sure you feel okay?”

Hongjoong just swatted his hand away. “ Yunho , I’m  _ serious _ . I’ve got a problem and all I’ve got are weird metaphors to work with. Would you believe him?”

Yunho paused and let his hand fall back down, his bowl of cereal half poured and forgotten on the counter. “ Mingi has never given me a reason to not trust him, so I guess I would, yeah. He’s never lied to me before. So ... I don’t know how or why he’d become a Power Ranger, but I’d believe him.”

Love was such a strange thing. “Something as _buckwild_ as a Power Ranger? You’d seriously believe that?”

“Hyung, I don’t know what you’ve got going on, and I really don’t think you’re sleeping enough, but ye ah . Something as wild as that I’d believe him. I’d think it’d be pretty cool having a boyfriend who was a Power Ranger. ”

“So, trust is enough for you to just... believe whatever he says?” Hongjoong didn’t understand that. Trust that deep. Who the hell could do stuff like that? 

“You said he had proof, right? Even if it’s just a little bit, sure, I’d believe him. He wouldn’t lie to me for no reason.”  Yunho finished pouring the cereal into his bowl, then  closed up the ba g and placed the box off to the side. “He would trust me with something big like that and I’d trust him to be honest. It’s a  two-way street.”

Seonghwa had never done anything that would make  Hongjoong distrust him, that was something he was sure of. He didn’t know much about him, but  Seonghwa came off as  a really honest person. That was one reason  Hongjoong liked him so much. He was beautiful, but he seemed so  _ genuine _ . They understood each other well. It was why he’d tried getting  Seonghwa on a date, after all. Maybe ... maybe he should give it a try. Trusting him about this god thing. At least give him more time to explain.

“Are you seriously, 100% certain that you’re okay?”  Yunho always looked like a kicked puppy when they made him  worry. “ You didn’t get involved in something you shouldn’t have, right?”

Hongjoong just gave him a lopsided grin and hopped off the counter. “Not my secret to tell right now. Maybe he’ll let me tell you one day.”

“ _ He _ ?” There went the cereal’s attention again.  “Did you meet someone?”  Yunho paused for a second before grinning even wider than before. “Someone at that garden! That’s why you wanted to go back!”

Damn  Yunho and his observant nature.  Hongjoong just laughed and waved it off, but the younger was having none of it.

“I haven’t seen you talking with anyone there—is that why you always go off on your own? ”  Hongjoong just started walking back to his room, not saying a word. “ _ Hyuuung _ ! You never date anyone, come on!”

“I’m not dating anyone, Yunho!”

Hongjoong could still hear  Yunho whining to  Mingi about it when he got his stuff together to head out to the library. He had a feeling he was going to get quite a lot of texts from  Mingi in the coming hours. Not that he could really say anything about  Seonghwa .  He didn’t know too much other than the fact that he was some flower-growing god figure in a garden.

Hongjoong ... had to stop and think about that a little more. He liked  Seonghwa . He really did. He’d liked him since he met him, liked his presence, liked talking to him. It was... worth it to  try and believe he was a god considering how much he liked being around him. And  Seonghwa had looked so fucking  _ happy  _ when he made that rose for him. Oh god, he was already in deep. Hongjoong was already in so deep for him.

Fine, he’d still go to the library, but he’d try and make it to the garden again to talk to  Seonghwa about it now that he’d had time to think about it.

Maybe he should have changed his clothes.

~xXx~

Public records were a bitch to work through. The librarian had given him a look when he mentioned the garden and wanted to know if there was anything in the city’s main public records about it. The older woman brought him to a room in the basement, where most of the archives were, and presented him with the only box of records that might have something about the gardens in them. 

It was mostly legal documents. Copies of receipts from the property being sold, contracts for the plumbing and actual building of the garden, amongst other matters.  Hongjoong really wasn’t any closer to finding out anything about the mysterious  man  until he found newspaper articles that were in an old, falling apart photo album. 

Inside were a myriad of pictures of the garden when it was first built.  Articles about the family and their contribution to the city. Photos of people walking through the garden, enjoying themselves, as  Seonghwa had said he wished for. 

The articles became a little darker as wartime approached. Articles about the flowers that never died and how important the space had become for the people. The flowers were still maintained so well, kept so beautiful...  Hongjoong couldn’t stop looking at the pictures. The garden still looked the exact same, even today.

Then  Hongjoong found  _ the  _ picture.

It was a photo taken after the war’s end. A photo of the family hugging and reuniting in front of the garden. In the background, sitting on a bench, were  Seonghwa and Yeosang.

Seonghwa had his hair styled back for the time, but still wore the same white robes and no shoes.  Yeosang was dressed the exact same way, but his hair was black and loose in his face. He looked like a cherub.  Both of them looked happy, smiling fondly to the family.  Hongjoong couldn’t believe what he was seeing. It—it had to be them. Genetics be damned, it couldn’t be anc estors. It was their exact features.

Hongjoong’s shaky hands got his phone out to take a quick picture of the newspaper article before he bolted from his chair, up the stairs, and right out the library’s doors without even picking up his mess and returning the box of records. He spewed out apology after apology as he left, but he had to get to  Seonghwa . He had to ask him about what he found.

He _bolted_ there. His lungs felt like they were on fire and his heart was a mess in his chest. By the time he made it to the garden, he felt like his legs were going to give out under him. A sweaty mess under his sweats. But he had felt a deep-rooted urge to speak to Seonghwa _now_.

He made it to their usual spot and waited, looking around for a few minutes, but the other never came.  Hongjoong finally allowed himself to sit down and catch his breath regardless.

“ Seonghwa ! I know you’re there, come on, I want to talk!”  Hongjoong huffed, taking his beanie off so he could run a hand through his hair. 

“He’s actually busy, but I’m here.” 

Hongjoong looked up to see  Yeosang standing in front of him,  in a plain white shirt and white shorts. It was hot outside, but you’d never know it looking at Hongjoong. He dressed for comfort when he was In the studio, mostly.

“ Seonghwa can be busy?” 

Yeosang gave a nod and sat himself down in the grass in front of  Hongjoong , legs crossed, and smiled. “We mostly tend to the flowers at night when people aren’t here. Gives us time to go unnoticed and everything.  Seonghwa likes to spend the day talking to people who visit. There’s an older lady here who visited a lot when she was a kid here today. Her granddaughter brought her.  Seonghwa is with her over by the koi pond.”

Hongjoong nodded, forcing himself to try and believe such a thing. He slowly pulled his phone from his pocket and held the picture up to  Yeosang . “I found this. I ran here as soon as I did.”

The physically younger boy took the phone and examined the article with a smile. “I remember this. I remember how happy they were. We could only do so much for them, we couldn’t bring their family members back. But we could tend to the gardens and try to bring some fame and money to them to ease the financial burden.”

Hongjoong’s voice lowered, like he was trying to tell a secret. “I want to believe you. Honestly. I looked up as much stuff as I could about you guys last night. This is about the most definitive proof that I could find to back it up. Like real, concrete proof. Not maybe faking pulling a r ose out of the ground.” He’d needed something concrete like that. Desperately.

“I understand that.”  Yeosang admired the picture for a moment longer, eyes sparkling, and handed the phone back. “I’m glad you’re willing to give this a chance now. We don’t have many people who want to hear our stories. We can’t let everyone who comes here know about us, after all.  You’re the first person in decades we’ve told.”

“...  _ Why _ ?”  Hongjoong didn’t want to sound rude, but it just hadn’t made sense. “ Seonghwa said he felt like I had a right to know since I’d looked up stuff before, because I wanted to ‘personally’ know him. But it feels like he was bullshitting me.”

Yeosang frowned and shook his head  fervently . “No. He’s not bullshitting you. Think about it—I can leave. I can be around the city, so long as the same winds reach the garden that reaches the city. I’m a nymph of the wind, mostly. So, I’ve seen the city, I’ve seen the people. I’m the one that tells  Seonghwa about the world. He can’t leave. He’s never left. He’s never seen the outside, except for what can be seen from the glass. Newspapers, sure, things coworkers show us on their phones, but... it’s just us. And a lot of times, just him.”

What a lonely existence. At least other gods had companion gods. Worshipped by enough people that there would be multiple temples places so they could travel around and see the world more.  Seonghwa was a  site-specific god. Cursed to stay in the garden and tend to it for all eternity. Until there was no longer a need, and then he would disappear. Like he never happened.  Yeosang too.

“So, when you came and entertained him that first day, he was really happy. Not a lot of people are into spending time with strangers. And then you came back and told him you tried looking him up because you wanted to get to know him. Because you worked well together. Wouldn’t that make you  feel... hopeful? Something happy you haven’t felt in a long time?”

Yeosang was right. If he’d been stuck in the same place forever and suddenly someone came in and wanted to get to know him, yeah, he’d feel  pretty happy and hopeful. “That’s why you dragged me here at 2am. Because you wanted him happy again.”

Yeosang smiled, a little shy, but  Hongjoong didn’t miss the  mischievous glint in his eye. “It made both of you happy, yes. And I don’t regret it at all.”

Hongjoong , ready to get off that subject for now, motioned to  Yeosang’s clothes. “Do you guys, like, have an apartment or something? Closets full of white clothes?”

Yeosang covered his mouth to laugh.  Hongjoong really liked his  laugh actually . It was cute. “No! No, nothing like that. There’s a breakroom with couches we’re sometimes in, but gods... have their own plane they exist on? That’s where we disappear to. It has a place where we rest and everything. Usually it’s a meeting place for gods, but there’s only  Seonghwa and I here, so it’s just us. We don’t need muc h rest or food ever, really, we just indulge in that stuff. Like fried chicken. We like fried chicken a lot. But we don’t get it often.”

Hongjoong would remember that. “So, the clothes, are they on that plane? Do you dye your hair on that plane? Because your hair was black in that picture.”

“We can change our appearance at will in the plane. I’ve been liking blonder and longer hair lately.  Seonghwa tried blond once, but he mostly keeps his black.”

Blond  Seonghwa .  Hongjoong short circuited for a minute. “Wish I could do that. My hair faded ages ago. I need to get it bleached again.” His roots had grown in quite a bit, and his hair was still a weird shade between blond and rose gold. “An d dye it. Not sure what color.”

Yeosang opened his mouth to say something but whipped his head to the side instead.  Hongjoong watched as the boy’s eyes fluttered shut, mouth closing, and he nodded once before turning back. “ Seonghwa is done. He’ll be here in a second.”

Why did he suddenly feel nervous about talking to him? He hadn’t hurt  Seonghwa’s feelings or anything. He’d been understanding, right? 

Hongjoong absently began trying to fix his hair but ended up just putting the beanie back on his head. This was fine. Yeosang just grinned at him and stood up against.

“I think I’ll head off for a little while. He’s walking over so he can say hi to people.” He waved his hand at him, turned, and walked right into nothingness. Gone. Man, it was cool. They really... weren’t human.

He could think of a few songs about that, actually.

Hongjoong sat back and waited until  Seonghwa came into view. Today, he had on a pair of white jeans rolled up his calves and a white tank top. No shirt over it. Oh, and he had nice arms. But he couldn’t focus too much on that right now. He had to be serious.

“ Yeosang mentioned you were here. How are you?”  Seonghwa , as elegant and polite as ever, sat down beside him like always. “He said you brought something.”

“I’m fine. Yeah, I—look,  Seonghwa . I didn’t believe you. I still don’t know if I entirely do, but I... trust you’re not lying. You’re not the type. And you h aven’t given me a reason to not trust you.  I went online to find some stuff, ended up at the library when I found this.”  Hongjoong handed his phone over, the picture still up. “ Yeosang told me a little about it. About you guys. Cleared some things up I’d been wondering about.”

Seonghwa smiled just as fondly down at the phone as  Yeosang had. His fingers gently hovered over their faces as his eyes softened. “Yes. It was a good day for everyone. I felt for the first time like I had truly done some good for the family.  They came home to the garden still alive and well, still popular, and the family wasn’t in too much financial distress. They could come home and find their normal again. It was wonderful.”

When he handed the phone over,  Hongjoong let his own eyes gaze down at the picture.  Seonghwa hadn’t aged at all.  _ Of course, _ _ he hadn’t,  _ _ Hongjoong _ _ , he’s immortal _ .

“So... you have powers over the garden. Is that all you do?”

“Mm, unfortunately, yes. I was created by the prayers of those who visited the garden and found comfort in it when their loved ones left.  So, the need was to have the garden and have it kept up. That is what I have powers over.”

Hongjoong nodded. He hated asking similar questions to what he had asked  Yeosang , but he wanted to hear it from  Seonghwa as well. “ Yeosang said he leaves the  gardens often and tells you what it’s like outside.”  Seonghwa hummed in response. “He said you guys liked fried chicken.”

Seonghwa’s laugh was louder than any laugh he’d heard before from him. Just the sound of it made Hongjoong grin. “ _Yeosang_ likes fried chicken the most. I like meat. Like steak. Sometimes the restaurant gives the workers lunch. I try to be ‘on the clock’ on those days so I can join in. We don’t need to eat, but food really is a wonderful thing.”

Hongjoong laughed light, his head nodding. Yeah, food was a wonderful thing. And to think something as simple as steak and fried chicken would make them so happy.

“I wish I could take you out of here and show you some good restau ra nts around town.  I could show  Yeosang , but it’s no fun if you’re not there to experience it too.”

Seonghwa hummed and lazily shrugged his shoulders. “Could always build a shrine to me in the  restaurant . Then I could appear. Make a traveling shrine so I can go and visit whatever I want. You can manage that, can’t you ? ”

Oh, Hongjoong snorted a _loud_ laugh at that. “Where has your sense of humor been hiding? I like this Seonghwa. He’s sassy.”

“Well, can’t let  _ everyone  _ know my secrets. Keeps things more exciting for me.”

“Oh?”  Hongjoong , still grinning, leaned over to nudge  Seonghwa’s shoulder. “Am I special, then?”

Seonghwa looked over at Hongjoong, his eyes as fond as ever. “I would say so.”

~xXx~

Hongjoong’s life, for the most part, went back to normal. Yunho and Mingi had confronted him about his new ‘boyfriend’ which he promptly told them no, no he didn’t have a boyfriend, but he promised he would tell them about what was going on later. Claimed it was an old friend going through a hard time and he was just trying to help him and no, it had nothing to do with the garden. Neither of them believed him, but they didn’t press.

Hongjoong , or ‘Lucky,’ continued working on music for the new girl group. He had written another song the CEO had enjoyed, one about love like rose petals (don’t call him out, he was in a lonely mood) that he said would work well as a  b-side ballad  especially  for the vocalists. He had been praised and given a few critiques on what they  were looking for, and it only made him want to work harder.

He’d had some meetings with the other producers and had worked with them on lyrics and possible song ideas, but... instead of feeling professional, he felt like a child amongst them. They had been in the industry for a while, and  Hongjoong was just a  kid compared to them. He got a few words in, but mostly took notes. He wondered if Mingi had ever felt like that.

His coworkers were fine, of course, but the hierarchy would always be there.  Hongjoong needed to be humble and prove himself. He wasn’t sure how, but he’d do whatever he needed to.

He still stayed up all night working. Every song he came up with just didn’t suit a girl group. Not for their plans, anyways. Their first concept was something light, like fairies, hence why they were alright with so many of  Hongjoong’s songs revolving around nature and love (it was the only inspiration he had for them, so he was  glad). But still. He wanted to be better, make something better. And it was keeping him up at night.

Mingi had offered to help since he and  Yunho were  actually more in tune with cute concepts for groups. As tall and handsome as they were, they suited the cute vibes of love songs. A summer was approaching faster, the girls would debut sooner than later, with a nice summer vibe to what they did. He thanked them, but j ust said it was something he needed to do alone.

He hadn’t been to the gardens much. Perhaps twice since the day he had confronted  Seonghwa and  Yeosang about the picture he found. The rose on his desk, somehow, still hadn’t started to wither. He wondered if that was part of  Seonghwa’s power s. 

He missed the garden. He missed Seonghwa’s presence.

He left his studio one night around 10pm, went straight to a chicken place near the gardens, and showed up around 11:30pm at the door  Yeosang had let him in a while before.

“ Yeosang ,  Seonghwa , open the door. It’s  Hongjoong .” Not a second went by before  Yeosang opened the door for him and literally  _ sniffed  _ the air.

“Did you bring us food?” He bounced happily, like a little kid, and  Hongjoong saw  Seonghwa quickly turning a corner to walk over to them. Ethereal as always.  Hongjoong couldn’t decide if he was prettier in the sunlight or the moonlight anymore.

Today,  Seonghwa was dressed in a big white sweater and jeans like  Yeosang had been before, while  Yeosang was in white shorts and a tucked in white shirt.  Hongjoong felt more put together, though he was just in... all black. Black t shirt, black jeans, black boots. Had a meeting, of course.

“Stopped by and got chicken before coming here. There should be some chips and Coke bottles in the bag too.” He handed it right off to  Yeosang , knowing the boy was extremely eager for the chicken. 

Seonghwa walked up and placed a cool hand on  Hongjoong’s shoulder, giving it a light squeeze before taking it back. “You didn’t have to do that. But thank you.”

“I know I didn’t. But I was hungry and missed you. Uh, both of you. Yeah. ”  Yeosang was walking too far ahead of them to the grass to hear him, but he still said it. “ Anyways,  I can’t stay long, but I wanted to drop by.”

Seonghwa was still smiling as he nodded and politely reached for a pair of the throwaway chopsticks before diving into the kitchen.  Yeosang had just gone for it withou t chopsticks and already had sauce in the corners of his mouth. There was something very... domestic about it.  Hongjoong just laughed and reached for a pair of chopsticks himself.

“How is work,  Hongjoong ? I told  Yeosang you mentioned that you produced and wrote music.  Yeosang likes the music nowadays quite a lot. There’s a tv in the little breakroom here, he watches music shows after everyone leaves in the evening.”

“Oh? ”  Yeosang , mouthful of chicken, nodded his head. “Yeah, maybe when this group  debuts, I can get you one of their albums. You’ll be able to see them on tv and everything.”

Hongjoong watched  Seonghwa reach over to wipe at the corners of  Yeosang’s mouth. The blond just tried licking at the god’s fingers and  Seonghwa laughed with the most beautiful sense of fondness  Hongjoong had ever heard. There really was something  special about their bond. Two beings who only had one another, the only two they could talk to who understood what their existence meant.  Hongjoong just ate quietly and tried not to stare.

“Work is fine, though. Still busy as ever. I don’t have much time anymore to work on my own stuff, but I think they decided to use one of my songs for the album.” It would go through the other producers and be edited, but it was still his work. That’s what mattered.  Seonghwa’s eyes widened and the look he gave  Hongjoong was blinding.

“Ah, congratulations! You must be happy,  Hongjoong .”

Yeah, he was... happy. Sure. He was happy, wasn’t he? He had the job he always wanted, and he was making music for a group. He had a studio. It was small and old, sure, but it was  _ his _ . Maybe the other producers didn’t take him as seriously, maybe he didn’t have much of a say in the editing of his songs or the other songs in general, but his name would be on something. He’d have  _ proof _ , on paper, that he was doing what he always wanted. This was happiness, right?

“...  Hongjoong ? Are you alright?” Hongjoong blinked back to life and looked over at Seonghwa, who was staring right at him. There was so much worry in his eyes, he looked even a little sad, and Hongjoong decided then that he hated seeing any negative emotions lining Seonghwa’s face. He was too beautiful for it. And knowing he was the reason Seonghwa looked like that right now just sent pangs through his heart.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m okay. I’m happy, sure. Sorry, just started thinking about work.”  Hongjoong finished up the one piece of chicken he had been eating with a shrug.  Seonghwa still gave him a rather sad look but nodded at him anyways.  Never pressing. God,  Seonghwa was a good person. Maybe something about being a god made him more in tune with what people needed. Maybe that’s why people prayed to them so much.

Hongjoong licked over his lips and stood up from his spot on the grass. He could feel the tendrils of anxiety beginning to spread in his chest again, making him jittery and anxious and making him want to run. He felt stupid too. Because he made  Seonghwa frown and suddenly his anxiety was wanting to rear its ugly head again. The same anxiety he’d felt after  Mingi got his job. The same anxiety that plagued him every single day and made him feel like he just wasn’t any good.

“ Yeosang , I’m going to walk  Hongjoong to the door, alright?”  Yeosang just nodded and plucked one of the Coke bottles from the bag. He never said a word, just trusted  Seonghwa to take care of everything.

“Hey.”  Seonghwa reached out and wrapped an arm around  Hongjoong’s shoulders as they walked back over to the door, a warm feeling that  Hongjoong easily sunk into. “I don’t know what you’re going through, but I’m here to help you, alright? I’m here for you.”

“Thanks.” He halfway mumbled, clearing his throat to try and push any of  the shakiness off it. “I’m fine. Just tired from work, have a lot I still need to do for tomorrow. I told you I couldn’t say long, remember?

Seonghwa only hummed in response. When they got to the door, he turned to face  Hongjoong , arm moving away just so he could raise his hand to Hongjoong’s cheek.

“I know you’re not alright,  Hongjoong . But you don’t have to tell me. Know that I’m here for you. Really. Whatever I can do to help you. ”

Even after  Hongjoong had acted so rudely to him over not believing what he was, after ignoring him and the gardens for that time,  Seonghwa was still being so fucking  _ nice  _ to him. The anxiety ripping at his chest, making his hands shake, made him want to believe Seonghwa was just pitying him. He had to force himself to remember Seonghwa had no reason to—he was just genuinely a good person who was concerned.

The hand on his face soothed him.  Seonghwa even got a little closer and raised his other hand to  hold his face. The look in his eyes was a little  more stern , a little  firmer then before .  Hongjoong needed that right now.

“Don’t let me get lost in your head,  Hongjoong . I mean what I say. I don’t lie. I’m here for you. I’ll help you any way that I can.”

“I know.” He  had been looking down since  Seonghwa had turned to face him the first  time but forced himself to look back up. Because what he needed to say needed to be said with his eyes, just as much as his lips. “I wish I could take you out of here. Wish you could come back to my apartment and just—talk with me. Be there. I wish you weren’t trapped here.”

“I know,  Hongjoong .”  Seonghwa’s voice softened again, and he raised one hand to run through his hair. “I wish for the same thing.”

~xXx~

Hongjoong avoided going back to the garden for an entire two months this time.

He could blame it on his job. He could blame it on the fact that the girls had already finished their photoshoots and the physical album was being finished. Their debut stage was announced for a month later. He could blame it on long hours helping prep for their debut stage. That he was helping them arrange the last few details and doing most of the grunt work himself. Little details that took time that no one else wanted to do. That’s what Hongjoong did. And he’d do whatever it took to be credited. Recognized for his work.

He could blame it on the fact that he decided in his anxious mind that he was going to force himself to continue working on his own music when he could. That he was still occasionally selling songs because it was all he knew how to do anymore. That he had hit a slump again where he believed that he’d never be able to be the person singing those songs. That his dream had never changed from being a singer or a rapper to being a producer. He’d always wanted to be a singer. But that was something he could never do now. He could make as many songs for himself as he wanted—he'd never get to show them to people as  Hongjoong .

He could blame it on  all of that and it would make sense, sure. But deep down he knew he was ashamed to see  Seonghwa again. Because  Seonghwa had seen him lost in his anxious mind an d watched him slowly unravel in front of him. Maybe it was dramatic, but it was  _ true _ .  Seonghwa was this kind, patient, god figure who was so gentle and kind to  Hongjoong despite everything—and it made  Hongjoong feel ashamed for acting the way he did. He still felt bad about not believing him.

Yunho and  Mingi were as kind as ever with him. Made him snacks, invited him to things, but never pressed. Allowed  Hongjoong to slowly work through what he needed to. But remained close enough to show they were there for him. He really, really didn’t deserve them. But he loved them dearly, and hoped, like a child with their parents, he could be someone they could both be proud of soon.

One month later, three months since he had seen  Seonghwa and  Yeosang , the  initial albums had been produced and were ready to be shipped to the few distributors that they had signed with. The girls were announced for their debut stage two weeks later. Cherry Cosmos, as they were called, a girl group  comprised of 5 members, would debut with a warm, fall vibe.  Originally planned for a summer debut,  Hongjoong’s song was  still kept for a  b-side ballad, but most of everything else he had worked on was scrapped. It was fine, he was fine. He still had that one song. He told  Mingi and  Yunho what happened, and that night they watched movies and tried to help him relax. 

He wondered what  Seonghwa was doing. In the darkness of their living room, he wondered if  Seonghwa felt lonely, or if  Yeosang was keeping him enough company.

The week before the debut stage found  Hongjoong in his studio still at  1 in the morning. He’d left  his studio long enough to go to the company’s kitchen to make coffee when he heard the door open and nearly screamed out of shock.

“Sorry! Holy shit, sorry!”  Hongjoong clutched at his chest as San, one of the company’s choreographers, entered the room. “I left my phone charger in here and didn’t realize till I got home— Hongjoong-hyung , it’s the weekend now, why  are you still here?”

He’d really scared the shit out of him. When the coffee started brewing, he flinched again. “I usually work late nights, Fridays and weekends are no exception.”

He watched as San walked over to one of the corners and pulled a phone charger from the wall. “You’re here all the time,  hyung , why don’t you go home and get some rest? The girls are fine, the album is ready, can’t you relax a little bit kn owing that? ”

“Producers and songwriters never stop, San.” Hongjoong leaned his tired body against the counter. “I’ve got to keep going and have stuff ready for the next album. You never know. Besides, I still sell songs and tracks on the side. Gotta make money, right?”

San had moved to sit on top of one of the tables in front of where  Hongjoong stood, sitting cross legged with his hands between his legs. He looked... confused. Maybe concerned.  Hongjoong just raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yes?”

“Sorry, but do you ever take a break? The bags under your eyes are so deep.” San pointed at him, grinning when  Hongjoong’s fingertips touched under his eyes. “Kidding! Mostly. Do n’t you have a roommate? Isn’t he worried about you being out so much?”

Hongjoong just sighed and glanced to see the coffee still brewing, meaning he was still stuck in this situation. Damn. “He’s used to me. He knows I come home late and stay here a lot. Don’t you need to be getting home? It’s late.” Hypocrite.

“ Wooyoung will understand.” Wait,  Wooyoung ? San must have caught the confusion on his face, because he just grinned wider and raised an eyebrow. “Hyung, did you not know we were  together? We’ve been engaged the entire time you’ve been here!”

“I don’t-- I don’t just go around asking things like that. Congrats, though.”

San  actually  _ giggled _ . “You’re always stuck in your studio, you never come talk to any of us. You never come out with us when we ask, you  gotta come learn about your fellow man! Loosen up a little bit!  We’re all curious about what you’re like outside of work anyways.”

… Did they really talk about him like that? Did they seriously want to get to know him? “You guys... want to hang out with me.”

“Yes.”

“... You genuinely want to be friends with me?”

“No,  hyung , we’re asking you to come out so we can laugh at you.” San rolled his eyes. “Of course, we do! Everyone here is close except for you. You’re always alone, doesn’t it get lonely in there?”

Hongjoong had figured none of them liked him. Because he was usually alone and the new guy. Maybe not that new anymore, but... huh. Did the other producers think well of him too? Had he been pushing everyone away before they even had a chance to get to know him?

“How about you come out with us after the girls’ debut?” San hopped off the table and walked over to him, placing one of his hands onto  Hongjoong’s shoulder. “We celebrate with them backstage, get them home so they can celebrate together, then all of us can go out, drink, eat some beef, and party. How about it?”

He could not believe what was about to come out of his mouth. “Okay. Sure, I’ll go out with you.”

San pumped his fists into the air and  actually let out a yell into the room. “Yes! I can’t wait to let everyone know!” He went to run out of the room, charger in hand, but turned around at the door to point at  Hongjoong’s very disheveled form. “My phone is dead, but Monday I’m getting your number and adding you to the  groupchat !” And then, he left.

Hongjoong just stood in the kitchen, mug in hand, coffee finished brewing behind him, feeling a little bit lighter than he had felt when he walked in.

~xXx~

The girls had debuted. Finally. It had been great, they had sung and danced perfectly, everything went smoothly, and the entire lot of employees were backstage with a cake to celebrate with them.  Hongjoong couldn’t believe it was happening.  And he couldn’t believe how proud he was of them for achieving their dreams. It had been a whirlwind of a day for them,  Hongjoong and the other producers showing up after their rehearsals, but they were all so bright eyed and happy. Some even cried. Oh, how happy it made him to be a part of something so wonderfu l.

The girls were dropped off at their dorm with their manager so they could order food, relax, and have a good day together. They had filmed the music video  reaction and practice video already, so they were free to have the day off. Starting that day, they were going to have a lot to do, and a lot of busy time. They should enjoy the day while they could.

But now, with nighttime looming in the sky, the employees were going out to celebrate. Choreographers, stylists, producers, all of them ready to drink and celebrate the success of the girls’ debut. Hongjoong had made sure to dress his best, considering he had been exisiting in nothing but loungewear for... the months he had worked at his new job. He missed reforming his clothes, missed the bright colors and the _fun_ that it brought.

Hongjoong finally bleached his hair again, cutting it short this time, and dyed it a dark blue. He had it styled back, had slit his eyebrow, and even put on a little eye makeup. He went out in a leopard print coat, black jeans he ripped and splattered white paint on himself, and  a vintage Aerosmith shirt tucked into them. Rings on every finger and all. He felt... like himself again.

He had felt off for months. Stress of a new job, stress about  Seonghwa , stress about his life and what was happening to it. Stress still about  Yunho and  Mingi leaving him at some point, stress about not making rent despite having a stable job. Maybe he wasn’t entirely happy anymore, maybe he was still stressed, but... at the sa me time he was more comfortable than he’d been for a while. He actually managed to sleep a little bit more.

And it was amazing what a good outfit and a good haircut would do for you.

Everyone had whistled at him when they saw him, San specifically sitting him down next to himself and  Wooyoung at the barbeque place they arrived at, and for once he really felt... needed. He’d texted  Yunho and  Mingi to let them know he’d be home late. He was out having fun.  Mingi just sent back a series of happy memes.

So yes, the night went well. Lots of soju, lots of beef, lots of talking. He’d talked more in two hours there than he ever had at their company. And for those two hours, his worries had melted away. And he could just be happy and belong.

Then he looked up and saw a head of blond hair in the window outside.

It was Yeosang.

Yeosang? Why was he—Hongjoong remembered that Yeosang had the ability to leave and go about the city, so long as the wind could bring him back. Hongjoong watched with wide eyes as their gazes met, and Yeosang turned to walk away, down the sidewalk, and out of Hongjoong’s line of sight.

“ Yo ,  Hongjoong ? You good over there?”  Wooyoung was the first to notice he was staring out at nothing.  Hongjoong just blinked and shook his head, trying to play the entire thing off.  Yeosang probably was just on a walk and saw him, that’s all. Just saw him and was on his way back to the gardens probably. Why did he feel guilty, though?

“Yeah! Yeah, just... actually, I just remembered I have to pick up my roommate at his company. He wanted to go pick something up for his boyfriend.” Hongjoong stood and quickly moved to get his coat back on. He pulled a number of bills from his pocket and handed it over to San specifically. “This should cover my part. Sorry, wow, I forgot about my uh—roommate. He’s probably going to call me soon and see where I am.”

No one argued, but San and  Wooyoung just nodded. “We’ll see you at work tomorrow, yeah?”

“Of course.”  Hongjoong gave an apologetic smile as he began backing up towards the door. “And we should do this again?”

“Definitely.” San held a thumbs up. “See you later, hyung!”

Hongjoong all but ran once he was outside.

He knew where  Yeosang was probably going. He headed down the sidewalk in the direction he had assumed  Yeosang went in, eyes scanning around till—there! A  little ways ahead, going down an alley. He hurried, apologizing to whoever he accidentally hit, his heart stammering in his chest as he looked for  Yeosang down the alley. He barely watch ed the boy, on the other side, turn to go another direction.

Hongjoong ran again. Down the alley, in that direction, down another alley, until he couldn’t see  Yeosang anymore. Had he made himself completely invisible again? With his breath heavy on his tongue, chest rising and falling,  Hongjoong sighed and moved back into the alley to  collect himself before... going home, he guessed.

“So, you  _ did  _ decide to follow me.”

“Holy fucking--”  Hongjoong nearly fell over at the sound of  Yeosang’s deep voice. “Don’t  _ do  _ that to me. I’m too old for this, I almost had a heart attack!”

Yeosang was leaning against the wall, arms over his chest. This time he wasn’t in white. He had on brown pants and a dark emerald green sweater. As well, he had on boots. He also didn’t look like his usual, cheerful self. He looked... serious. Stern.

“What were you doing standing outside of that restaurant?”  Hongjoong walked over to him, deciding to stand beside the boy instead of in front of him.

“Looking for you.” He stated simply, like one would a fact. “ Seonghwa missed you.”

That certainly did nothing for not just the guilt in his heart, but the stammering of his head. “Did he say that?”

“Not in so many words.”  Yeosang gave a little shrug. “You’ve been gone for months. Usually it was just a week or two at a time. It’s edging closer to  four  months. He said you guys had a talk before you left last tim e but won’t tell me what about. All I know is  he’s worried about you every single day since then. I see it in his eyes. He’s been over by that tree near the lake more times than I can count. More in the past few months than he has in the decades we’ve been alive.”

Seonghwa was worried about him. Fuck, he was a failure. Yeosang had said before he played a hopeful part in Seonghwa’s life, but he was still too chicken shit to go back and talk to him about the slow decline into another anxiety attack had started when he was in the gardens last. Because no, he wasn’t happy, and every time he thought about how unhappy he was, it all got worse. That he focused so much on his work so he wouldn’t have to think about anything else. Losing himself and every creative part of him just so he could have a job and make some money. Feel like he was more than a failure to those around him.

Seonghwa didn’t care about stuff like that.  Hongjoong knew in his eyes he wasn’t a failure. He was just  Hongjoong , the nice human who liked to talk to him and helped brighten his day. And  Hongjoong had taken that hope from him because he was a scared child.  Seonghwa didn ’t care that his mental state was always at zero. He just wanted to help and  Hongjoong pushed him out. Fearing  Seonghwa would dislike him the more he got to know him.

“If you’re done with him, Hongjoong, please tell him.” Yeosang’s voice was deeper than he’d ever heard it. “Don’t make him sit around and worry about you every day.”

“I’m not—I'm not done with him, Yeosang. I could never be done with him.”

“Then why don’t you come back?”

Hongjoong hung his head down and ran a hand over the back of his neck. “Because I’m embarrassed. I don’t know if I can face him. He saw me at a very low point. Watched me slowly dive down into it over those few weeks. It’s embarrassing to face him again.” Watched  Hongjoong go from the bright, red-haired t i e-dye guy, to the one with roots two inches long, wearing the same sweats he’d worn for a week s traight. “Every time I’ve seen  him, I feel like I’m like—like I’m not worthy to be in his presence. He’s an incredible person, you know that. He’s so nice to me and I don’t deserve it.”

How was he supposed to tell  Yeosang he liked  Seonghwa ? That he’d initially spoken so much because he wanted to take him on dates, but now that he knew he was a god he was too afraid to fall for someone like him? That every time he saw him, he felt like he was being pulled in deeper and deeper?

Yeosang quirked an eyebrow up at him, something  mischievous glittering in his eyes. “You like him, don’t you? You really like him.  You want to put your best face on in front of him, so he’d think higher of you. You wanted to look  _ handsome  _ in front of him. And you didn’t last time, and now you’re  _ embarrassed _ .” Oh, now he was smiling again. “You realize he doesn’t care if you come to him at a low point, right? He’s honored to help you. Or just be there fo r you while you work it out yourself. Yeah, he’s a  _ good person _ , and that’s why it shouldn’t matter—he  _ cares  _ about you, you know.”

Hongjoong only sighed as he watched  Yeosang , a smile not yet reaching his lips. “I know, Yeo--”

“Nah, I don’t think you do. He told you our _secret_ , Hongjoong! He lights up like a Christmas tree when you’re around!” Yeosang grinned like he _knew_ something Hongjoong didn’t. “You need to talk to him. And see for yourself how much he misses you. And _actually_ pay attention for once, Hongjoong. Look at how he looks at you and then try and tell me he doesn’t care a lot about you!”

All Hongjoong could do was.... watch Yeosang. Watch how happy he seemed himself, the way his eyes were lighting up, and just see how much happier he was now that Hongjoong let him know what was going on. Again, Yeosang knew something he didn’t and he was doing a bad job of hiding it, whatever it was. Maybe it was just a ploy to get Hongjoong to come back and see Seonghwa. Regardless of it all, it was working. Hongjoong definitely wanted to see Seonghwa again, if only to ease the pain he had created within the god.

“Fine.”  Hongjoong sighed, and  Yeosang began to bounce. “Fine, fine, I’ll go back with you. I’ll go see  Seonghwa again.”

Yeosang nodded quickly and, without so much as a moment to collect himself, hurried out of the alley for  Hongjoong to follow behind him. 

Hongjoong had no time to really plan what he was going to say, but perhaps... it was best that way.

~xXx~

“ Seonghwa ! I’m back!”  Yeosang , this time, brought him through the front entrance instead of the side that let into the rose area of the gardens. He remained dressed as he had when they went out, boots and all, as they walked in.  Hongjoong was growing more and more nervous with each passing second. “I brought something for you!”

Hongjoong , hands stuffed into his pockets, followed behind as they walked towards a little sitting area, complete with a fountain, that  Hongjoong had never really ventured towards before. He tended to have one area he sat at and that was all. He went to the lake and the tree that had become his and  Seonghwa’s place, and that was... it.

Sitting on one of the benches was  Seonghwa , looking as beautiful as ever. This time,  Seonghwa as well was not dressed in all white. His sweater was white, but his jeans and his boots were black. His hair wasn’t styled either. It was soft and loose on his forehead, and  he held a book in his hands. Seriously, how the hell did he manage to get prettier and softer every time  Hongjoong saw him?

“Did you bring food again? I know--”  Seonghwa looked up and completely shut his mouth upon seeing  Hongjoong . Slowly, he closed his book, and placed it onto the bench as he stood up. “ Hongjoong . My, you look... different. From the last time I saw you.”

There was the guilt again. Seonghwa spoke with no negative enrgy, no malice in his words. Yet, Hongjoong still managed to feel terrible.

“Yeah... yeah. I finally dyed my hair again. And put on real clothes again.”

“You look good.”  Seonghwa , ever the kind man, smiled warmly at him. “It’s good to see you again.”

Yeosang cleared his throat and gave a little wave, sweater paws and all, at them. “I’m going to go and  rewatch some of the music shows from earlier. Give you two time.”  Yeosang disappeared in an instant, the wind cool against  Hongjoong’s cheek.

“...  Yeosang told me your girls debuted today. Congratulations to them, as well as you and your team. You must be excited.”

Hongjoong didn’t say anything to that, only nodded his head. “I don’t  wanna sound rude and get off subject, but can we talk? You and I?”

“Of course.”  Seonghwa’s smile quickly faded, replaced by a look of worry. “Here? Or somewhere else?”

Hongjoong licked over his lips, hands still in his pocket, and nodded in the other direction. “Our spot?”

Seonghwa didn’t even hesitate. He nodded, and followed suit behind  Hongjoong , in silence, a couple  minutes walk away to their spot underneath the tree. The water of the lake shimmered in the moonlight, softer it seemed than the way it did in the sunlight. Maybe it was best that they always spoke at night now. Maybe there w as something metaphorical about  Hongjoong only coming at night now. Maybe it was just his working hours.

Hongjoong sat down and motioned for  Seonghwa to join him. Which he did, but he didn’t sit as close as he once had. “I’m sorry for not being here more, Seonghwa.”

“Don’t worry. You’re a busy person--”

“No, it’s not... it’s not just that. Hear me out, okay?”  Seonghwa nodded, so  Hongjoong went on. Time to speak his feelings.  He didn’t want to hurt  Seonghwa further. “I’m busy, sure. The girls’ debut was a big source of stress and stuff on me. And my own work I was doing too. You remember last time  I was here? When you asked me about being happy?” Another nod. “That was... it fueled something in me. Something that made me feel really fucking shitty.”

“I’m sorry--”

“No, Hwa, please.”  Hongjoong quickly stopped him, pleading both with his eyes and his words. “Please don’t feel sorry. Let me explain, I’m trying to explain so I don’t hurt you more.”  Seonghwa was silent, lips pursed, but he nodded. “I’d been on that downward spiral for a while. Since I got my job. Because I thought it was going to make me happy, and I worked hard because I’d decided it was my dream? But my dream is to make my own music, be able to perform my own music—and I know it’ll never happen. I try not to think about it, but I’d been thinking about it when you asked if I was happy.  Because I’m not. And I was forcing myself to not think about it. ”

Seonghwa , ever the saint, remained quiet. “I thought about how before, even when I was just making tracks and selling them, I was somewhat... happier, I guess. I was still myself. I felt more like myself. I dyed my hair, reformed my clothes, had outlets that I used every single day to express myself. But that all stopped when I got my job.  I just... stopped. I stopped feeling like me. But I forced myself to work through all of it and had no idea how shitty I was doing. And you saw the end of the slow decline and I just—fuck,  Seonghwa , you’re amazing, you know? You’re this perfect person, and you liked the vibrant, albeit tired, version of me you met that first day. I show up in the same sweats I’ve worn for days and my hair grown out  and gross and you still--”

“I’m sorry,  Hongjoong . I need to stop you.”  Seonghwa had really reached out and put a hand over his mouth. “I appreciate how highly you think of me, but not at the cost of assuming I’ve ever thought  _ poorly  _ of you. You believe, at least in your mind, that because I’m a god I don’t understand what you’re going through? That I would ever think bad of you because you’re going through hard times? Never,  Hongjoong . I’ve told you before, you’re special to me, and I’m here for you. No matter what you go through.”

Hongjoong raised his hand so he could grip onto  Seonghwa’s wrist and gently pull the other’s hand down. “You told me a long time ago you told me your secret because you thought I deserved to know. I get that. That I’d looked you up and wanted to know more about you. You never had to tell me your secret. You’ve continued to tell me the same reasoning over and  over and over again , Hwa, and I  _ seriously  _ still don’t get it. Why me? Why not anyone else?”

With a sigh,  Seonghwa took his hand back. “The day you came here, I was completely enamored by you. With your tie-dye shirt, your bright red hair, and the butterflies on your boots. You fell asleep right under this tree without a care in the world. So, I spoke to you, and you talked back as though we were friends. It was so... refreshing to me. You came back soon after and wanted to get to know  _ me _ . You were all dressed up, even wore the boots I said I liked again. It was a feeling... a feeling I had never e xperienced before. ”

Seonghwa turned more to face him, hands folded prettily in his lap. “When you asked me to dinner, and I know your intentions, I felt terrible because I knew that structure was n’t part of the garden and that I couldn’t go to it. I was a little frantic in telling you to come back, but I... selfishly wanted to see you again. You were so different, so unique... this place can be very lonely for us, despite all the people. You were someone I wanted to become closer to.”

“And I didn’t believe you.”  Hongjoong spoke quietly, pulling his knees up to his chest. “You told me your biggest secret and I didn’t believe you. It must have hurt.”

“I knew telling you was a gamble. It didn’t hurt me at first.”  Seonghwa’s hand made its way to resting on  Hongjoong’s hand, which he had right on his knee. “ It was always up to you if you wanted to come back. I had been hoping you would, sure, but I can’t force someone to care. ”

Hongjoong snorted, looking at  Seonghwa from the corner of his eye. “Up to me, huh? Is that why  Yeosang literally yanked me here?”

“I--”  Seonghwa laughed, using his free hand to cover his reddening face. “You really haven’t let that go, have you? I told him not to.”

“And he  _ still  _ did.”

“He did because I  _ missed  _ you. He was only being a good nymph.  He was doing what he thought would be best for me.”

Hongjoong raised an eyebrow, this time turning himself further to get a look at the other. “What was best for you?”

“Yes. Because I said it, and I’ll say it again, I missed you. I knew your intentions the second we met. You asked me for my  _ number _ ,  Hongjoong . No one had asked me for my number before. And you asked me to dinner. I might be a god, I might be stuck here, but I’ve seen enough dramas to know that you like  _ me _ . Y ou liked  Seonghwa the person, not the god. Though I had worried once I said no you wouldn’t return. You’d never hear me out.

Well,  Hongjoong hadn’t assumed  Seonghwa knew he’d been trying to ask him on a date , actually, he had assumed  Seonghwa had just been a little strange and maybe hadn’t caught his hints. Especially not after he’d bolted away from him the  night he was told the secret. “... Hear you out?”

“ Hongjoong , would you say you had feelings for me?”

“What--” Not it was  Hongjoong’s turn to turn red. “What kind of question is that?”

“A simple one.”  Seonghwa hummed, taking his hand away from  Hongjoong’s . “Because I have feelings for you, I wanted to know if you still had any for me.”

Feelings for him.

“I don’t like when you talk down about yourself,  Hongjoong . I don’t like seeing you in pain and not being able to help. You brought such fun and light into my monotonous life and I barely know you. I worried about you after the night you had dinner with us.”  Hongjoong noticed  Seonghwa wringing his hands together as he spoke.  “I feared I had run you off. And I couldn’t leave to come and find you. I was stuck here, waiting, wondering if you were hurt or upset. And I couldn’t help you.

“... that’s why  Yeosang was out looking for me. You asked him to go and find me, didn’t you?” Did  Seonghwa care so much about him that he would ask for something like that?  Hongjoong’s head was swimming—he had no idea what  was happening. Why Seonghwa had feelings for someone like him.

He also hadn’t noticed how they had slowly moved closer and closer to one another.

“I didn’t ask him to bring you back, but... I asked him before if he could go out and try to find you somewhere, any hint of you, just to let me know you were safe. I can’t make anyone come here. No one can make another person care about them. I just wanted to know you were safe, and  I would be happy.  Knowing you’re happy makes me happy.”

Hongjoong had... no words for what he was feeling. It wasn’t just some random person who liked him,  Seonghwa was a literal  _ god _ . He’d been alive for decades, could be alive for centuries, and  was the most perfect person on the planet—why did he like  Hongjoong ? Why did he care so much about him? He just... he couldn’t make himself understand it.

“I like you too, you know.” Finally,  Hongjoong found his voice,  and also his balls. “I really do. I asked my friends for advice about you a while back. Because I found this really handsome, kind person, and he liked talking to me and didn’t think I was weird, but then you told me about being a god and just—my brai n wanted to completely ignore it because it was crazy, but my heart yearned for you every fucking day I wasn’t here. And in the past few months, I’ve thought about you with every song I’ve written. I felt like I was making you lonelier, and it... it was embarrassing for me to come back. I don’t know, just because it felt like I was ignoring you. And you wouldn’t want to se e me.”

“ Hongjoong .”  Seonghwa ’s gentle voice, one he had come to love, returned as his hand pressed against  Hongjoong’s cheek.  Hongjoong , in his guilt, didn’t look up at him. “I would always want to see you. It’s difficult, knowing the status of my life, but I couldn’t help myself. You’re a  really wonderful person. You brought a sense of... color and hope I’ve never seen before, in  all of my decades of life. Even if you lost feelings for me, I hoped to see you again. Maybe I’m a little bad at this, aren’t I? You seem surprised that I care about you.”

“No, no,  _ I’m  _ bad at this.”  Hongjoong let out a sharp, disbelieving laugh. Because  Seonghwa liked him.  Seonghwa actually... l iked him. “Fuck,  Seonghwa , I’m so fucking  _ bad  _ at this. I thought you hated me. Or thought I was crazy. Or wouldn’t like someone who you’ll probably outlive. Someone who isn’t here all the time.”

Seonghwa used his hand to force  Hongjoong to look at him, but  Hongjoong still looked down. “It’s... crossed my mind. That I could outlive you. Is it selfish of me to not care? Selfish of me to want to keep you, in  all of your light and happiness, to myself?”

“Nah.”  Hongjoong , finally, looked up into  Seonghwa’s eyes. “ I want to do the same to you. A god as a boyfriend? Holy shit. Do you even know what dating is?”

Seonghwa grinned and took his hand back, using it to smack  Hongjoong’s arm. “I’m not stupid. I’m not that disconnected from society. I understand dating. I know what it means. And no, you wouldn’t be with me and  Yeosang in the garden every second of every day, but.. . selfishly, perhaps, I know we would work it out. It could work out pleasantly, I’m sure. We could figure it out.”

“You’re being pretty bold to assume I want to try and date you.”

“Oh--”  Seonghwa looked a little frantic and held his hand up.  “No, please don’t think I was--”

This time, it was  Hongjoong’s turn to cover  Seonghwa’s mouth with his hand. “I’m playing! I’m messing with you. Of course, I want to try and date you. If I  have to sleep on the benches in this garden just to see you more, I’ll do it.” 

He could feel  Seonghwa smile under his hand. So, he took his hand back, and tucked some of  Seonghwa’s hair behind his ear. “I have no idea how I’m going to convince  Yunho and  Mingi I have a boyfriend when I’ve been denying it for months. I’ll have to bri ng them here.”

“You still haven’t figured out how to build a shrine to me in your apartment? You’ve had months to do that, Hongjoong.”

“ Nevermind .”  Hongjoong rolled his eyes,  Seonghwa just laughed. God, his laugh was like music to his ears. “I don’t want to date you, actually, I change my mind.”

“Liar.”  Seonghwa nudged  Hongjoong’s shoulder with his own. “The worst liar in the world.”

Hongjoong had no idea how this was going to work. Dating a god, dating someone who couldn’t leave the garden, his work schedule, his life—but he had a feeling that  Seonghwa would help him through it. His presence alone made  Hongjoong feel so... at ease with himself. So happy, so relaxed... whatever was to come,  they could face it together.

He looked over to gaze into  Seonghwa’s eyes,  both of them looking so warmly and fondly at each other. Maybe if they were in a drama, there would be violins playing and flower petals floating across the screen. Yeah, whatever was to come, they could deal with it.

Hongjoong raised his hand to  Seonghwa’s cheek, thumb stroking over his skin, before  Seonghwa turned his head to kiss at his palm. The god’s hand came up to hold onto  Hongjoong’s , letting their clasped hands fall between them as he leaned in closer. 

Kissing  Seonghwa felt like the most natural, wonderful thing in the world to him. The gentle, warm slide of their lips, the way they were both holding one another’s face, even with their hands clasped between them. Kissing  Seonghwa felt like a promise of a brighter day. Filling a part of his heart he hadn’t known was empty. 

When they pulled back, foreheads pressed together,  Hongjoong couldn’t stop himself from grinning and laughing under his breath.

For the first time in a long time, he was happy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for why this took so long. I’m sorry, but I promise this has a happy ending!
> 
> I’m thinking of other stories to tell in this universe, so perhaps soon I’ll have those planned out!
> 
> Please enjoy!

~xXx~

Hongjoong was finally in a good place.

After Cherry Cosmos’ debut, they had gotten a bit of recognition, and things were going well. The company was small, they all knew they would have to work hard for them, but it was going well. Things were good at the company. Especially after San and Wooyoung had pulled him into their little world at work. He’d learned maybe he wasn’t as alone as he thought, wasn’t some new guy no one wanted to hear anything from. He’d just been isolating himself, worried that they thought that way.

Yunho had officially moved in with himself and Mingi. When Hongjoong asked again about them getting their own place, Mingi had joked and said Hongjoong was never there, so it felt like their own place. To which Yunho smacked his arm and told him that they loved living with him and still wanted to stay by his side. All things considered, Hongjoong was glad about that. He promised again to try to be home more. He had told them about having a boyfriend but had said he’d introduce them eventually. He just had things to work through.

Speaking of Seonghwa, the gardens were busier than ever. One of the most popular idol groups had used the location to film a music video, and more people than ever discovered the gardens, it had gone viral online, and Seonghwa had more visitors than ever. Even if Hongjoong was able to get there during the day, he could barely get in and find his boyfriend. So, he continued to come after hours with Yeosang’s help. Both of them were incredibly happy about the new people coming in. They were incredibly proud of their garden.

Hongjoong had learned in the two months since he and Seonghwa began dating to lessen his workload a little. Because he didn’t need to keep selling tracks as fast as he could make them, he had enough money for rent, for groceries, and for snacks for Seonghwa and Yeosang when he visited. Seonghwa had helped him realize that. And the less stress on his mind, the better his mental health had become. He knew Seonghwa would help him. He knew his perfect, wonderful boyfriend would be there for him.

There was still the concern about Seonghwa not being able to leave the gardens due to the lack of shrines and other temples in other places to him, considering Seonghwa was an unknown god to most. Those who knew of him visited the gardens for him, didn’t have anywhere else they would go to speak to him. As much as they jokes about Hongjoong making a shrine in his apartment to Seonghwa, he was about to do just that.

It was a Friday and Hongjoong had just left his studio. The girls were already preparing for a winter comeback, wanting something deeper and a little sexier, which Hongjoong was _excited_ about. San and Wooyoung were perhaps the most excited about it. He had said goodbye to them early, the two of them helping the girls practice their dancing when he left. He promised to talk to them more on Monday and left for a café a block from the garden.

Today, he bought pastries and iced coffees for them to have. He packed the pastries into his backpack, hand holding the carton of americanos, and went up to the side door as the sun was setting. He knocked and knocked, but surprisingly, no one... came to get him. Okay, then. He knocked again, and again, but no one was coming.

“Yeosang? Seonghwa? Is everything okay?” After another minute and Hongjoong almost deciding to leave, Yeosang finally opened the door.

“Sorry-- come in, I’ll explain.” Yeosang rushed him in and Hongjoong felt his heart begin to drop. Was everything okay? “So, we had something... cool happen? I think it’s cool, but I don’t know how you’re going to feel. Oh! Did you bring coffee?”

Alright, so it wasn’t bad. “Yeah.” Hongjoong handed one of the cups off to Yeosang, who smiled in thanks. “What happened?”

“You know how the gardens have gotten more popular?” Yeosang sipped at his coffee. Hongjoong nodded slowly. “We got a new nymph!”

“-- Can that just happen? Nymphs just... get delivered?”

Yeosang giggled a low giggle at the question and waved a hand at him. Surprisingly, Yeosang seemed happier than he’d ever seen him. Maybe it was the joy of having someone else like them around? Having a third person to keep them company? “No, not delivered, not like food. The area decides when the nymph is formed. With it getting more popular around here, with more people, we needed help. And _he_ came.”

Yeosang nodded for Hongjoong to follow him down the path and towards the lake, surprisingly. So, the new nymph was male as well? Interesting that there hadn’t been a female yet, but whatever. Interesting that nymphs were typically female, yet both of Seonghwa’s had been male. He tried not to think too much about that. He just accepted it.

Coming up on the lake showed Seonghwa, beautiful as ever, sitting next to another boy. He was a little taller than Yeosang, with deep brown hair, dressed in a large white shirt and ripped white jeans. Seonghwa himself was dressed in more formal white robes, which Hongjoong guessed he wore to make himself seem more formal.

“Seonghwa! Your boyfriend brought coffee!” Yeosang called out and yanked Hongjoong over to the god with him. Seonghwa turned with a smile, the boy just looked confused.

“Didn’t know there was a third person, or I would have been more prepared.” Hongjoong handed Seonghwa his coffee with a kiss to his cheek, then handed the boy the one he bought for himself. “You can have mine, though. I’ve had enough coffee today anyways. I have some pastries in my bag too if you’re interested.”

“Thank you.” The boy quietly thanked him and eyed the drink. Oh, right. He probably didn’t know what the iced coffee was. He sipped at it anyways, and to Hongjoong’s surprise, he seemed to like the americano.

Seonghwa came up and wrapped an arm around his waist, pressing a kiss into Hongjoong’s hair. He was growing it out again, but this time he was keeping it white. For now. “Thank you, love. I assume Yeosang told you about our new nymph?”

“Everything but a name.”

“Ah. Well, Hongjoong, this is Jongho.” Seonghwa walked back over to the boy and sat down next to him again. Yeosang moved to sit on Jongho’s other side. “Jongho, this is Hongjoong. He’s human, but he visits a lot. He and I are dating.”

“You’re dating a human, your grace?” Wow, Yeosang never spoke so formerly to Seonghwa. Jongho really was new. “Is that... wise?”

“Please, I told you, call me Seonghwa.” Hongjoong ran a hand through his hair, a little uncomfortable, and reached into his bag to get the pastries out. “We’ve spoken about the difficulties of such a relationship, but we both decided it was worth any and all risks. We’re working things out as issues come along.”

Jongho only nodded at him and continued sipping at the drink. Meanwhile, Hongjoong distributed a mix of croissants and muffins around. So, Seonghwa had a new nymph that would be working with them. He seemed nice, though clearly young. He seemed strong too, which would be good considering how much work they had been doing lately.

“So, Yeosang is a nymph of wind... what’s Jongho?” Hongjoong patted himself on the back for asking such a smart question. See, he paid attention.

“Meadows, actually. Making him perfect for helping us. Meaning so long as there is greenery, he too can come and go like Yeosang.” Meadows. How strangely specific. But that meant he could help keep the grass and everything well-tended to. “If you want to be specific, Yeosang is a nymph of breezes.” Seonghwa bit into one of the croissants, Hongjoong merely nodded.

“Okay, and they’re both nymphs of this garden... which is why they can help you maintain the flowers and trees?” Yeosang was the one who gave him a thumbs up since all of their mouths were full, save for Jongho. “Alright, sweet. Makes sense.”

Hongjoong finally felt like he had a good grip of this whole god thing. He had done his own research so he wouldn’t have to ask many questions, and he found it interesting to find forums of people who claimed to have similar experiences to Hongjoong. Coming across gods that has befriended them. Before, he would have been incredibly skeptical. Now, he felt comfortable knowing those accounts were probably all entirely correct. He wished Seonghwa had another god nearby who he could talk to, though.

“Hongjoong produces music. He comes here when he can after work. Sometimes on weekends if he isn’t too busy.” Seonghwa reached a hand over to intertwine with one of Hongjoong’s. “Yeosang watches a lot of music shows if you ever want to join him. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind the company. Right, Yeosang?”

Yeosang nodded and gave a thumbs up. Jongho, noticing the crumbs that speckled the boy’s face, reached up to brush them away. Well, that was… cute. nice. Hongjoong watched Yeosang blink, clearly surprised, before laughing.

“Oh, right, Yeosang--” Hongjoong pulled his backpack out and handed over one of the albums from Cherry Cosmos. “Had them all sign it for you on their favorite pictures. They said thank you for supporting them.”

The nymph clapped his hands excitedly and moved so he could lean over and take the album into his hand. Hongjoong had to let go of Seonghwa’s hand in order to move himself closer to him. “Did you make sure I got one of Heeyoung’s photocards?”

Ah, right. His bias. “They’re random, Yeosang, I have no idea who you got. Five girls, you may have gotten her. All I did was hand it over for them to sign, I never saw the cards.”

Hongjoong watched as Yeosang started to filter through the album, picking out the stickers and the poster, before carding through the endless pages of girls and their various photoshoots. It was a deluxe debut edition, so there would be a few extra things in there for Yeosang. The girls were doing well for debut, but they were still excited when he told them about Yeosang specifically.

“Ah, I _did_ get Heeyoung!” Yeosang happily, yet ever so carefully, examined the card before showing it to Hongjoong. She was cute, one of the shorter members, with her dark hair cut into a bob. It was a cute picture of her smiling and holding up a finger heart. She was a really gentle person. Hongjoong had met them only a few times, but she was always pleasant and sweet.

Hongjoong looked over, hoping to say something to Seonghwa, but he noticed that he had moved away from their little spot and was instead over by one of the flower beds, speaking to Jongho as he knelt on the ground to show him how the flowers were grown. Watching Seonghwa’s hands, after being kissed, press to the ground and bring forth flowers was always an incredible sight—but he felt... a slight pang of jealousy bubbling in his chest.

It was ridiculous to feel that way, he was well aware of such things. Hongjoong couldn’t tear his eyes away from watching Jongho, in return, wipe his hands over the ground, blots of grass beginning to appear where his hands had touched. Seonghwa beamed. A beaming smile of pride that Hongjoong had never seen before.

He wasn’t jealous. Why should he be?

They had been together for two months. They spent a lot of time together—this was Seonghwa’s job, after all. Keeping up with the gardens meant Seonghwa being needed, and he would continue to live and thrive with his nymphs this way. Hongjoong wished he could... help the gardens more too. Do what Yeosang and Jongho could do.

“I think I might head out.” Hongjoong left the rest of the coffee and pastries for Yeosang as he slung his backpack over his shoulder again. “You guys have a lot to do, I’m sure. With Jongho being new and all.”

Yeosang looked up at him, a little surprised, and only shrugged his shoulders. He still had the photocard gripped in his hands. “Seonghwa will take care of it. He did the same for me when I came. It had just been him for a few weeks. Jongho is smart for a nymph as young as he is. It won’t take long, but Seonghwa is always thorough.”

Hongjoong nodded, very half-assed, honestly, as his gaze shifted back to Seonghwa. His mind was trying to reassure his heart that everything was fine, there was no need to feel anxious or worried, Seonghwa wasn’t tired of him—he wasn’t a nuisance. Seonghwa had a job to do, just like during the day he had a job to do. Hongjoong took in a deep breath, through his nose, and slowly let it out. Yeah, he’d come back later.

“Tell him I said bye, alright?” Hongjoong gave a little wave to Yeosang as he turned on his boots, headed for the door. He didn’t really wait for Yeosang’s answer, and as the door shut behind him, he began feeling a little bad for acting bratty. Had he acted bratty? Maybe petty, actually, was a better word to use. Yeosang probably hadn’t caught it and Seonghwa would think nothing of it.

He thought about turning on his heels and heading back to apologize. He, instead, swallowed his worries and continued the long trek back to his apartment. At least he had his headphones and some music to keep his thoughts at bay.

Hongjoong had never been one for long relationships. In middle school and high school, he would keep them casual, always too busy chasing his dreams to let anyone wedge their way closer to him. Once he started developing deeper feelings, one that wished to hold onto someone, to keep them close to his heart, he would push them away. He hadn’t wanted to let anything possibly ruin his chances at being an idol.

Now, things were different. Hongjoong, or “Lucky,” as he had adopted such a name when he became a producer, understood his time in becoming an idol was over. There were no groups he would debut with. He had a chance at making his own stuff still, could still be signed to a company as a solo artist, but these were dreams and aspirations that were more easily obtainable because of his job. Seonghwa, after a night of talking, had been the one to remind him what doors this job had opened for him. He would become a credible producer, and he could be signed to the company later on as a rapper. He just needed more time.

He found solace in those thoughts. That the job he had considered to be the source of his anxiety was in fact something that _helped_ his anxiety, once he worked past his own intrusive thoughts. The job was the open door for his dreams, the very step he needed to take that would thrust him towards his ultimate goal. A goal that he had shadowed with his own self-deprecation. But Seonghwa had been there, his light in the dark, to show Hongjoong how to push those clouds aside and keep going.

That was why he held on so tightly to Seonghwa in his heart. Because Seonghwa was his happiness, his reason for looking through the dark to search for the light. Never before had he wanted not only to keep someone close to his heart, but also to keep them _inside_ his heart. Seonghwa wasn’t his therapist, no not at all. He was... almost like a slap in the face, something that forced him to see his own stupidity so he could work through it. He appreciated that.

Hongjoong slowly unlocked the door to the apartment and tossed his bag to the ground once inside. He clicked the door shut and looked in the living room to see Mingi was still awake, despite it being one in the morning, with his headset on and his PS4 controller in his hand. Hongjoong did his best to walk in to where he wouldn’t scare the shit out of Mingi.

“Oh, hyung? You finally back?” Mingi took his headset off and paused his game to look over at Hongjoong about the time he was taking his jacket off. Which, of course, he just threw onto one of the couches. “Off seeing your mystery garden boyfriend?”

“Seonghwa isn’t a _mystery_ , Mingi.” Hongjoong hopped over the back of the couch, landing with his legs crossed on the cushion. Not his first rodeo. “And yes, I was off seeing him. Where’s Yunho at? Actually in bed?”

“Yeah, he fell asleep on me around 11. I woke him up and told him to go to bed. It’s the weekend, so I thought he’d be able to stay up later.” The younger tilted his head in an attempt to crack his neck. His words about Yunho betrayed his sense of alertness, given that Hongjoong could tell he too was extremely tired. “And your boyfriend is a mystery. It’s been, like, two months? You only go see him after work, saying he does overnight shit there, but he’s never been _here_ —hyung, we’ve never seen a _picture_ of him.”

Pictures weren’t something Hongjoong had thought about doing. Usually when he saw Seonghwa he was tired from work and didn’t look as presentable. And it was dark. Weekends now, when he visited, tended to be really busy. And he reveled in how happy Seonghwa was talking to visitors that he didn’t try to peel him away for photoshoots with him. So, fine, he’d take the fall for that.

“Yunho and I tried to search for him online. We found nothing. No social media, no page on the garden website—hyung.” Mingi placed his controller beside him, and Hongjoong found himself very concerned when Mingi gave him a serious look, hand going to gently squeeze Hongjoong’s shoulder. “Are you sure he’s real?”

“Wh-what-? What, of course he’s real! Do you seriously think I would lie about dating someone?! I’ve been single for like... three entire years! And I’d honestly be honest about being single for another three years!” Hongjoong just sputtered his words without much thought, finding it unbelievably baffling that Mingi would actually suggest that he was _lying_.

Mingi’s hand was steady and firm on his shoulder, his face softening to something sympathetic. “I know you’re worried about Yunho and I leaving you, which we’re not gonna do, but you don’t have to make up a boyfriend so--”

“So, what, I don’t look _pathetic_ and _single_ to you?” Hongjoong felt like the air had been punched out of his lungs. Where the hell was all of this coming from? “I’m the fucking happiest I’ve been in years and you think I’m stupid enough to lie about having a boyfriend? We’re not _kids_ , Mingi!”

“I didn’t _say_ you were pathetic. Didn’t _imply_ it. I just... we weren’t sure if you really had a boyfriend or were making it up so you could spend more time in your studio without us worrying.” Mingi didn’t get upset, didn’t raise his voice, merely looked... sadder as he retracted his hand. “Hyung, what are we supposed to believe? I don’t know what’s going on at all. Neither of us do.”

Hongjoong took in a deep breath to calm himself down again. Mingi and Yunho meant well. They had been with Hongjoong through his worst moments, after all. They were just concerned because, well, making up excuses to work himself to death in the studio wasn’t too far from the realities that Hongjoong had put them through before. It frustrated him, all of this did, but... he wasn’t mad at them.

“I’m sorry for raising my voice. But seriously, Mingi, he’s _real_. The situation is just... complicated. It isn’t my story to tell either. I respect him enough not to spill something personal.” Hongjoong sighed and scooted over so he could lean against Mingi’s side. “I know you’re just concerned.” Mingi especially had seen Hongjoong through the absolute worst moments of his life.

Mingi responded to him by wrapping one of his arms around Hongjoong’s shoulders. He and Seonghwa were different than Yunho and Mingi. They had to be. Seonghwa wasn’t human, after all. Seonghwa’s existence was tied to the garden. If anything happened to it, Seonghwa would cease to exist. It terrified him.

“... How about you guys come to the gardens with me next weekend and meet him?” Hongjoong’s voice was quieter now. Calmer. “I’ll let him know you’re coming up.”

“ _Seriously_?” Excitement had returned to Mingi’s voice. The younger sat up straighter, his smile widening. Hongjoong just chuckled. “It’s, like, fine if we come and see him finally? He’s not too busy or anything?”

Well, he was going to be busy, but it wasn’t like Hongjoong could entirely tell him why. “He’s got a new employee he’s... training, but it should be fine. Like I said, I’ll let him know that you guys are coming with me. Maybe we can bring stuff for a picnic and everything?” They could picnic under the tree where they first met and everything. That would be romantic.

“Fuck yeah! I’ll tell Yunho in the morning!” Ah, to have friends that knew you were going to spend most of the afternoon sleeping in. Life was so much better than it used to be. “He’s going to be so excited. Holy shit.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Hongjoong slowly pushed his aching body up and off of the couch. “Love you guys too.”

~xXx~

So. Hongjoong wasn’t sure Seonghwa listened to him.

Hongjoong had gone both Saturday and Sunday to talk to Seonghwa, each time getting him for maybe ten minutes of the three hours he was there. Then, for a few nights, he would try to go and talk to him, see him—but Seonghwa was still just with Jongho. Would brush him off in favor of helping the new nymph. Hongjoong still forced his jealousy down because he knew why it was happening. He knew it was just because Jongho was new and their very existence depended on the beauty of the gardens and people who came to it.

Yet, Hongjoong was human. So, for the last few days of that week, he didn’t show up. At all. He figured Seonghwa might not notice. Even felt a little upset when Yeosang hadn’t come looking for him. Two months of visiting every day and suddenly missing most days? And no one noticed? Call him a little selfish, but it wasn’t a nice feeling.

In his desperation, Hongjoong had even investigated... building a real shrine. In his apartment. They had joked about it, of course. Him having a shrine in his apartment so that Seonghwa could be there too. He mostly only found ancient texts, looked into real archeological studies into discover what made a shrine a shrine, and he got he would need votive statues—but where the hell was he supposed to get a statue of Seonghwa?

Prayer was a big thing too. He remembered Seonghwa saying that was the reason he came to be. So, praying for Seonghwa to come to the shrine he made would be important. Praying to his boyfriend felt... weird. He’d scribbled out plans for making some sort of a modern-day pagan shrine, tossed next to the rose Seonghwa had made on his desk, and after a few hours he’d... elected to ignore his plans. It was stupid, trying to make a shrine. If he wanted to see Seonghwa, he’d go see him.

Why did he feel embarrassed about trying to make something out of love? He just... wanted to spend more time with Seonghwa, that was all. Maybe he was unconsciously feeling... guilty about doing it out of jealousy.

He didn’t tell Yunho or Mingi about Seonghwa ignoring him or how busy he was. He wasn’t going to ruin their fun. Because the Saturday morning they were preparing to go see Seonghwa was filled with a lot of laughter and happiness around the apartment. Mingi and Yunho were both trying to get ready, dress nice to meet Seonghwa for the first time, Yunho had made kimbap for them to take for a little picnic, and everything felt... good. He hoped Seonghwa wasn’t busy.

Yunho and Mingi both wore ripped jeans, Yunho opting for a white t-shirt and pale blue button up left open, Mingi going for a deeper red sweater with rips in the shoulders. Hongjoong even dressed up. He wore black ripped jeans, looser fitting than his counterparts, the butterfly boots Seonghwa liked, and a thin black sweater he had sewn silver hoops into the arms and collar of. Because the outfit accentuated his short white hair, of course. Maybe he’d dye it soon. Maybe he’d just keep it white.

Hongjoong felt his nerves begin to rise in his throat as they approached the busy entrance to the garden. Of course, it was busy, it was always busy now.

“Been a while since we visited. That group coming here really got it popular again, didn’t they?” Yunho marveled at the posters of the group hanging above the check in desk as they walked in, his hand unashamed as it reached out to hold onto Mingi’s. Hongjoong was still very, very happy for how proud and out they had become. He hoped... one day he and Seonghwa could be like that.

“He should be around here somewhere...” Hongjoong led them along one of the cobblestone pathways, around the couples taking pictures together, but he couldn’t locate Yeosang, Jongho, or Seonghwa anywhere. Sometimes they kept themselves invisible, hidden to the world, as they worked during the daytime. He would hope if one of them, Seonghwa especially, saw him that they would make themselves appear.

“It really is nicer here. It was before, but, damn. You said Seonghwa helps do the planting and everything?” Mingi pointed at some of the lilies growing as they walked by them, commenting something to Yunho about buying him flowers. Hongjoong heard Yunho laugh.

“Yeah.” Hongjoong’s voice was a little distant as he scanned every single fucking inch of the garden. He knew they were here. But where? “Yeah, he and two of the others work overnight sometimes too. It’s easier to work when there are no people around.”

Maybe Seonghwa was... maybe he was near their spot. Maybe if he went there, Seonghwa would know. And would come to him. His heart really hoped he would.

“I can see why they would want to work at night. There are so many people here.” Yunho marveled at the crowd, Hongjoong all but ignored him. All he could hear was his own heartbeat in his ears. Blood rushing in his veins. The intrusive thoughts beginning to speak—but Hongjoong took a deep breath to quieten them down.

Until he saw their spot.

Their spot under the tree, their spot they had met, the spot they had kissed and confessed their feelings for one another... Seonghwa sat with Jongho under his arm. His Seonghwa, glowing in the light of the sun, in the white robes he’d become accustomed to seeing, with Jongho grinning under his arm. They looked... happy. Content. With the warm light hitting them and cool breeze flowing around them, Hongjoong felt his blood begin to run cold. But white-hot shame soon followed suit.

“What-- Hongjoong-hyung, why did you just stop?” Mingi was a little loud given that he’d nearly tripped over his hyung when Hongjoong stopped dead in his tracks. Both Mingi and Yunho looked up to see Seonghwa and Jongho about the time that Seonghwa turned his head to face Hongjoong. “Wait, isn’t that him? You said he only dressed in white all the time?”

“Yeah.” Hongjoong could feel his gaze hardening. Something dark curling in his eyes. Hongjoong didn’t look at Seonghwa for very long before he turned and pushed past his friends. He could feel his legs shaking, threatening to give out, but he clenched his fists and focused on getting out before breaking down. “We’re leaving.”

At first, he didn’t hear Mingi or Yunho behind him. But, like good friends, they were both at his side and walking out with him in no time.

He was such an idiot. He was such an idiot to have thought that Seonghwa still wanted him after seeing how happy and enamored with Jongho that he was. He should have known when Seonghwa barely spoke to him that it was fucking over. Two months of happiness, of understanding, of becoming better people with one another—all down the drain because of some new fucking nymph. He should’ve known, he should’ve listened to his gut when it said that something was wrong. He wouldn’t make that mistake again.

Hongjoong didn’t even flinch when he ran into someone. Didn’t even offer to apologize, though he heard Yunho say something. He had no plans on stopping, not until he heard the voice.

“Hongjoong? What are you doing?” It was Yeosang. Innocent Yeosang in all of his glory. Hongjoong turned, knowing from the look on Yeosang’s face how angry he must have looked. Seonghwa must not have used their connection to tell him what happened. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Why don’t you go ask fucking _Seonghwa!_ ” He spat out his words, hands tugging on Yunho and Mingi’s wrists as he pushed past Yeosang and out of the garden. He didn’t care—he didn’t care what Yeosang said, he didn’t care what Yunho and Mingi were saying. He clenched his eyes shut and just forced himself past everyone as his breathing quickened and his hands began to shake.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._

~xXx~

Hongjoong slammed his headphones down on his desk. Every single day for three and a half weeks, every single time he tried to write anything, he thought of stupid fucking Seonghwa and his stupid fucking beautiful smile. And every time he thought of that, he thought about that last day, and he could feel shame washing over him continuously. An endless cycle of pain and self-deprecation he couldn’t get out of.

He shouldn’t have barked at Yeosang the way he did. He got that. Maybe he could have been nicer to Yunho and Mingi when he exited the gardens and broke down on the front lawn, hands fisted into his hair as he let out the pained cry he had been keeping in. As always, they were there to pick up his pieces. But, like every time, some pieces cannot be put back together. Yunho and Mingi had gotten him home, they had eaten the food Yunho made that morning, but... Hongjoong excused himself to his room for a while. They let him be for a few hours.

As always, when he was down, he threw himself back into his music.

He recorded, and recorded, and recorded. Wrote a flurry of breakup songs, raps so fast it made his throat scratchy and sore, and he didn’t stop until his body finally gave out. The weekend went by just like that, with Yunho and Mingi occasionally checking on him. But as any adult who needed money to survive, he was back at the company on Monday. He had meetings about the girls’ upcoming comeback, their first since debut, and Hongjoong knew that a winter comeback would mean a darker concept usually—but for such a new girl group, one with a cute concept, they were going more for ‘winter wonderland.’

He couldn’t think of anything. There was no inspiration left inside of him for love songs. There was love in his heart, but that love had turned cold as ice. He would run such an idea through a song for the girls but was told by a superior that they wanted a winter love song, not a breakup song. Ha. What shit timing.

Seonghwa had been everything to him. Had they broken up? Was catching him with someone else a good enough parting? Did you have to tell someone you were ‘broken up’ after they cheated, or was it understood?

Fuck, he didn’t want to break up, though. Why would he ever want to leave someone as incredible as Seonghwa? Someone who made him as good of a person as Seonghwa? Despite what he had seen, the horrible things swirling in his mind and his heart, he still yearned for him. He always, always yearned for Seonghwa. To hold his hand and kiss him again, to watch the moon reflect in his eyes... eyes that just looked at Jongho now.

Hongjoong groaned loudly and held his head in his hands, fingers tugging and gripping onto his hair out of frustration. And just when he thought about giving up, he heard someone pounding at his door.

“Hyung! Are you throwing a tantrum?” Wooyoung. He’d know that voice anywhere.

“No. Leave me alone.” Hongjoong sat back up, blowing a puff of air out as he reached for his discarded headphones. However, he heard Wooyoung open the door—and foolishly forgot that he hadn’t locked it back after he had gone to the bathroom an hour before. Oh, he wouldn’t make that mistake again. “Alright, fine, the door was open. What do you want?”

Wooyoung shut and locked the door behind him, leisurely walking over to plop right down on Hongjoong’s couch next to where his desk was. “You’re throwing tantrums, aren’t you?”

“I’m not. Leave.”

“You’ve been holing yourself up for ages, c’mon, you’re throwing silent tantrums at least.” Wooyoung leaned back, propping his feet right up on his table. “I was walking out when I heard something slam in here. Seriously, are you good? You haven’t been right lately.”

“I’m fine.” Hongjoong, not even looking, just pulled his keyboard closer. Wooyoung narrowed his eyes, a smirk curling in the corners of his lips.

“How’s the boyfriend?”

The silence that followed must have been enough for Wooyoung, because he was already sitting up straighter and had his hands gripping his knees. “You’re having boyfriend trouble! C’mon, hyung, let it out! Let me hear it!”

“You and San are the same person, you know that?” Wooyoung cackled, but Hongjoong did take his headphones off again. “I’m having issues writing love songs is all.”

“So, you’re having boyfriend trouble.”

“No, Wooyoung.”

“Obviously you are!” Wooyoung pouted his lips out at his hyung. “You know, San and I used to fight a lot before we got our shit together. I’m sure you’ve noticed, but he’s a _really_ jealous person. Used to, he didn’t like it when I would go out with any of my friends. He’d be super pouty and made when I got home.”

Hongjoong didn’t look at him, but he was obviously intently listening. Wooyoung was younger, sure, but he was _engaged_. _Lightyears_ ahead of Hongjoong in the love department. “Jealousy just means that he loves you.”

“Mm... maybe. But it got to a point where I couldn’t do anything without him. It was suffocating me. Had to finally sit him down and tell him it was he either trusted me or I walked away. It took time, some couple’s therapy, but it’s all good now.”

“It’s hard to trust people.”

Hongjoong wasn’t looking at Wooyoung, but he could feel his smile. “But you can’t love someone if you don’t trust them, can you? Love cannot exist without trust. So, if he couldn’t trust me, he didn’t love me. Not like he thought he did.”

Something in Hongjoong’s chest tightened at that. He trusted Seonghwa, didn’t he? Surely—surely, he did. Of course, he did. He trusted Seonghwa with anything. He’d seen him at his lowest, had been there for him despite his mental health... of course Seonghwa was someone he trusted. That’s why it had hurt so bad when he betrayed him with Jongho. Because he really had trusted and loved him.

“And sometimes people betray your trust. It happens. I’m glad you and San worked it out. Can I get back to my work now?” Hongjoong let out a huff and kept typing away at his computer. He was only half paying attention to what he was making anyways.

“I’m just saying, hyung.” Wooyoung shrugged his shoulder lazily as he stood from the couch, his arms folded over his chest. “Whatever he did, talk to him about it. If he’s half as upset as you are, I know it has to be a misunderstanding of some kind.” Wooyoung waved a hand back at Hongjoong, which he saw reflected in the blackness of his top monitor, as Wooyoung opened the door to leave. “Good luck writing!”

Hongjoong turned after he heard the door click shut, his eyes glazing over as he watched the opaque white door. He could hear Wooyoung laughing down the hall, in the distance, before he heard San. To be so in love like that... It must have been nice.

Hongjoong thought about Wooyoung’s words that had dug under his skin while he worked. About trusting Seonghwa. Sure, in nearly a month he had considered the fact that he may have misunderstood the situation. But with Seonghwa so clearly holding onto Jongho, right in the spot they met, how could he not? He could trust him all he wanted—sometimes people were assholes and broke someone’s trust. Not that Seonghwa was an asshole. He could never think that.

Once Hongjoong had an actual song down, some actual music with emotions and feeling to it, he decided to call it a night. He’d write lyrics later. Sometimes, when Hongjoong couldn’t think of the words, he would just... make the music. Let his emotions out through sound, not words.

He had been sleeping at his studio for a few nights and had told both Yunho and Mingi that he wasn’t sure when he’d be home. He’d even started keeping clothes in his studio. They had been concerned, of course, but didn’t force him to come home. He felt... it was right for him to go home for a bit. Take a shower in the comfort of their bathroom and properly sleep in his own bed. Besides, he lost himself in his thoughts too much in his studio.

By the time he got to their apartment, Yunho and Mingi were already asleep, so he showered as quietly as he could before making it back to his room. He threw himself down onto the bed after putting on a pair of sleep pants, his eyes absently staring to his ceiling above.

He thought about Seonghwa. Because he was always thinking about Seonghwa. Because his heart screamed and begged him for the man Hongjoong had fallen in love with so very quickly, the one who had made him feel so safe and at home for the first time in his life.

He had dated people before, but no one... no one was as genuine and kind as Seonghwa. Someone who yearned for closeness but still didn’t want to impose on anyone. Who was happy to work in the background to make others happy, but had gone against his own beliefs in order to confess his feelings to Hongjoong. To be with him despite his immortality and inability to leave the gardens.

Hongjoong rubbed at his eyes, letting out an exasperated sigh as he forced himself to sit up. As his hands fell into his lap, his gaze fell on the rose laying on his desk. A real, live rose, that had stayed alive for months with Seonghwa’s magic. It defied all laws that Hongjoong knew, but... he loved it regardless. Because Seonghwa had made it for him.

He pushed himself off of his bed so he could walk over and pick it up to examine it, the plans for a small shrine he’d created left on the desk where the rose had been. Hongjoong’s eyes flickered between the two, fingers twisting the rose in his hand before he threw it back onto the table. Fuck the forces of nature, _couldn’t they see that Hongjoong needed Seonghwa more than some garden_?

The gardens would be fine without him for a while. Just give him the damn time to be with Hongjoong, let them grow old together, then they could take him back. Let them have their happiness and Seonghwa could return to being a god again if he wanted to. Just... well, it didn’t matter anymore. Seonghwa had Jongho, who would live forever.

“Fucking hell.” He grumbled to no one in particular, hands mussing up his hair before he fell back into bed. He couldn’t be thinking about things he couldn’t control when he had an important meeting with the other producers the next day anyways. He could feel anxiety beginning to creep into his blood, making his heart race faster, and he had to breathe and remind himself it would be alright.

He’d try to sleep, and he’d try not to think about Seonghwa.

~xXx~

Hongjoong didn’t remember hitting his alarms when he woke up. And he realized, in a panic, he hadn’t even set them.

“Fuck!” Hongjoong had about five minutes before he needed to run out the door to make it to his meeting. He scrambled to get to his closet and pull on a simple sweatshirt, some overalls, a beanie since he wasn’t even bothering to brush his hair, and his boots. He turned to grab his backpack and phone charger from the floor when he screamed and nearly jumped out of his skin.

Because Seonghwa was sitting in his desk chair.

“What the—fuck, how the fuck did you get in here?!” Before Seonghwa could answer, Yunho and Mingi burst into the room, clamoring as though they had heard the very room falling and crumbling apart.

“Hyung, we heard screaming, is—oh.” Yunho’s cheeks flushed pink as his gaze fell to Seonghwa. Mingi just raised an eyebrow and pointed a finger at the god.

“This is the boyfriend who was cheating on you, right?”

Great, now that thought was going to be swimming in Seonghwa’s head. Things Hongjoong was _not_ in the mood to discuss. Hongjoong waved his hands and turned to push them out of the door. “We’ll talk later, I have a meeting in like four minutes!” The other two reluctantly left after protesting about Seonghwa being over, leaving Hongjoong alone with Seonghwa for the first time in nearly a month.

His hair was longer. Wavier, fluffier than Hongjoong remembered. And he was wearing... black now. Black jeans and a black sweater. Black boots, too. His reddened lips were pursed into a line, and he looked... worried. Fuck, but he was still the most beautiful person in the world.

“Look, I’ve got a meeting I need to leave for in about three minutes, so that’s about all the time I can give you.” It probably sounded cold coming from him, but it was the truth. And Hongjoong knew his heart couldn’t take seeing Seonghwa again. Because all he wanted to do was hold Seonghwa against him and never let him go. He watched something flicker in Seonghwa’s eyes, his lips parting slightly before he began to speak.

“... the rose. You prayed to the rose. Your... rose, in a sense, became a shrine.” Seonghwa spoke slowly, carefully as his hand gestured to the flower on the desk. “You told the rose... you needed me more than the garden. I heard all of it, Hongjoong. Everything you pray, even in your mind, I hear. Because it had to do with me.”

Hongjoong blanked out entirely at that. Seonghwa had head those thoughts. Because the rose was a fucking shrine of sorts now? Because he’d accidentally prayed to it while lamenting over his maybe-still-a-boyfriend? Hongjoong glanced at the time on his phone before grabbing the rose and pointing to Seonghwa.

“I have to go, we can talk about this later, but—fucking, I guess if this rose really is a shrine, I can take you with me, then?” Seonghwa’s eyes widened at that, but he nodded. He stuffed the rose into his bag and nodded to the door. “Okay. Then follow me, I have to hurry.”

The walk out of the apartment and down the street was... awkward. For so, so many reasons. First, because they hadn’t spoken to one another in months and suddenly they were going to have to spend the day together, if Seonghwa decided to stay. And second, because Seonghwa’s eyes were so fucking _bright_ and _happy_ and he looked at every little thing they passed because he had never even _seen_ the outside world before. And because of Hongjoong being late, he couldn’t truly enjoy his first experience. Which made Hongjoong feel even more guilty.

Hongjoong just watched Seonghwa out of the corner of his eye as he hustled down the street, nearing tripping over himself a few times because Seonghwa’s absolutely pure look of happiness watching cars go by was... distracting. Meeting. He must remember his meeting.

Seonghwa was silent even as they entered the company building and Hongjoong scanned his badge, quiet even as they were alone in the elevator, and quiet as Hongjoong hurried him into his studio.

“Okay, just—just stay here, alright?” Hongjoong gestured hastily to the couch and coffee table against the wall. “Don’t answer the door if anyone knocks, I’ll be back soon. There’s, uh, drinks in that fridge under my desk. If you need that.” With that, Hongjoong didn’t even give Seonghwa a second glance, didn’t wait for an answer or anything. Halfway because he needed to hurry, but... also because he just couldn’t deal with it all right now.

Hongjoong wasn’t even sure what the meeting was entirely about. Sort of. It was the producing team discussing the finalities of the upcoming album for the girls, but Hongjoong wasn’t listening. He was present and that was what mattered. No, he was thinking of Seonghwa. Finally allowing himself to think about the way Seonghwa had looked.

Seonghwa looked tired. His eyes had been pleading at him for something Hongjoong couldn’t quite make out. He was beautiful still, as ethereal as ever, but... off. Seonghwa was in all black and he even looked thinner than Hongjoong remembered. Was he overworked? The gardens were still incredibly popular, maybe he had no new nymphs to help?

Nymphs. Jongho. Bad.

Hongjoong sighed under his breath and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. No, he couldn’t think about that day again. He tried to take notes, tried to listen, but just... couldn’t stop worrying about Seonghwa. What the hell was he supposed to say to him? How was he supposed to go back into that studio and talk to him? Would Seonghwa speak first? What would he say?

“... Joong? Hongjoong-ah?”

The younger producer suddenly blinked back to reality and turned to see one of his seniors watching him with concerned eyes. Upon further glancing, he noticed everyone else was talking and leaving, meaning Hongjoong was the last one sitting at the table. Shit, they noticed how bad he was zoning out. Was he in trouble?

“Sorry-- just, uh, thinking about a beat I made last night.” He managed to fumble those words out under his breath as he quickly closed his laptop, hoping his senior hadn’t noticed the lack of notes. His senior said nothing but let a little chuckle out and patted his back as Hongjoong quickly stood from his seat.

“You need to make sure to sleep more. I know you work hard, we appreciate it, but you need to rest. You looked exhausted.”

Exhausted. Ha. Yeah, he was always exhausted. When was he not exhausted?

“Ha-- yeah, sorry. Long night. Excuse me, I need to, uh, get some lyrics down while I have inspiration--” Hongjoong hurried out the door before more questions could be asked. Dammit, and he’d been fitting in so well, now everyone was probably thinking he was weird. Maybe he really did just need to sleep more. Anyways.

Hongjoong stood, still and complacent, outside of his studio for... perhaps longer than necessary. Hands shaking at his sides, backpack with his laptop in it heavier on his back than it had been before. But he had to just bite the bullet and go in. Hongjoong took in a deep breath, closed his eyes, centered himself, and went to press the code to unlock his studio.

… except that the buttons didn’t light up. They only did that if the door wasn’t locked--

“It’s open, hyung!”

_Wooyoung_.

Fear aside, Hongjoong threw the door open to see Wooyoung and San grinning back at him, waving their mischievous little hands, while Seonghwa sat between them. He looked... brighter than when Hongjoong had left him before. Brighter eyes, vibrancy to his smile, but as soon as their eyes locked that smile dropped, his head turning. Hongjoong tried to ignore the feeling of his heart sinking.

“This is your boyfriend we talked about, right?” Wooyoung bumped Seonghwa’s shoulder with his own. “He’s awesome! Why haven’t you brought him here before, huh?”

“Woo is right, he’s funny! He talks to properly, how’d you even get someone like that, huh?” San snickered and Seonghwa laughed under his breath, but still hadn’t looked back at Hongjoong.

“None of your business, how did you even get in here?” Hongjoong dropped his backpack onto his chair, trying to ignore the way his hands shook as he turned his equipment back on.

He heard Wooyoung clicking his tongue and San laughing once again as his monitors blinked to life. “Door wasn’t locked. Thought we saw you moving around in here, it was just Seonghwa looking at the monitors.”

Seonghwa? Looking at his stuff? Hongjoong’s head turned at that, and though Seonghwa was gazing at the coffee table, Hongjoong could see a flush in his cheeks.

“I... hadn’t seen something like it before. The setup. I was just curious.” Why did he talk like he was walking on glass? Was he worried Hongjoong was going to get mad or something?

San, ignoring the slight tension in the air, just wrapped his arm around Seonghwa’s shoulders. “Apparently you hadn’t told him everything about what you do, so we told him! C’mon, hyung, you’re so bad at this. You have to communicate, you know. Seonghwa told us you haven’t for a while--”

“Alright, alright! That’s enough, don’t the choreographers have their own meeting today?” Producers first, then choreographers.

The two dancers pouted at him and latched themselves onto his perhaps-maybe-not boyfriend, to which Seonghwa laughed a laugh that made Hongjoong’s heart pick up in his chest. Fuck, he really missed him. He missed him so damn much.

“You ever get a phone text us, hyung, okay?” Wooyoung and San gave Seonghwa another hug, a smothering one given by the way Seonghwa squirmed and the noises he made. But he was happy, and Hongjoong pretended to not be watching them from the corner of his eye. “Seriously. We can get lunch and hang out!”

“Okay, okay.” There was that beautiful laugh again. Seonghwa patted them both on the shoulder as they stood up from the couch. “Thank you all for visiting with me.”

And then, there were two.

Hongjoong wanted to bold. The anxiety boiling in his stomach and shaking his hands made him want to run and never look back. Maybe if he ran far enough, he could make it to another country. Start a new life, pretend Kim Hongjoong never existed.

“Hongjoong.”

Seonghwa’s voice was so soft as it pleaded at him, which truly only fueled the guilt that had begun to rise in his chest. Because Hongjoong knew it was his fault. The sadness, the way Seonghwa wouldn’t look at him, how he always looked so fucking _tired_ now—it was Hongjoong’s fault.

“Hongjoong, I’m confused.” Voice still pleading, but steadier than before. More authority in his tone. “I don’t... understand why you ran away. Yeosang couldn’t even find you when I sent him out.” So, he really had sent Yeosang out?

“I didn’t really go out except to work. Started taking a quicker route, I guess.” The other route had led him a way that meant passing by the gardens before work, but he didn’t... need to do that now. Hongjoong ran a hand through his messy hair, beanie off and crumpled in his hand now, and then sat down in his chair. “Look, it’s been a long time, I don’t... I don’t get how you don’t see why I left. Didn’t Yeosang tell you?”

There was a pause. “Yeosang told me you ran off in a rage and said to ask me about it, but... I had no idea what you were talking about. I still don’t, Hongjoong, what happened?”

He sounded like he was telling the truth. There was no way he was overembellishing the pain in his voice. Hongjoong licked over his lips, biting at his bottom lip for a moment before turning to look at his former-maybe-still boyfriend. Maybe he really did just need to talk it out. That’s what Wooyoung kept beating into his head, anyways. He felt anxious, terrible, but maybe blurting it out and never seeing Seonghwa again was an option.

“Jongho.” All Hongjoong said was the nymph’s name. Nothing more. Seonghwa waited, looking like he was waiting for more, before quirking an eyebrow open and tilting his head at the producer.

“... Jongho?”

“Yeah, Jongho. Look--” Hongjoong put his beanie onto his desk so he could run both hands through his hair, gaze averting to the floor. “You got really close to him, okay? Every time I came you were busy with him and couldn’t see me, then I get there that day and you’re cuddling him in our spot, so I got mad and left, okay? If you wanted to be with him and not me, I get it. I’m just a human, you two are immortal beings, it makes sense--”

“Hongjoong.” Oh, that was a commanding voice he hadn’t quite heard from Seonghwa before. Hongjoong whipped his head up just to see Seonghwa sitting up straight, hands balled into fists on his lap, his expression reflecting a sense of hurt that Hongjoong... hadn’t thought Seonghwa might be going through. “You thought for even a second I was replacing you? With Jongho?”

Hongjoong sat up a little straighter, heart continuing to pound violently in his chest. “You were always with him, I figured you were just teaching him stuff at first, but like—Seonghwa, I saw you cuddling him! In _our_ spot!”

“Yes, I was teaching him, Hongjoong--” Seonghwa sighed, his body slumping back against the couch, his fingers rubbing the bridge of his nose. “You never talked to me about this. You don’t know what I was doing or why, do you?”

Hongjoong shook his head. Seonghwa sighed again.

“I never fully explained Jongho’s arrival because I wanted it to be a surprise. Nymphs don’t just appear, not like I said. Jongho was brought by a messenger god. There are many others like me, this god works as an intermediary being between us all... and they brought Jongho. And I asked some questions about me, about you, about what to do. And do you know what I found out?”

Hongjoong shook his head again, his hands shaking a little harder. He balled them into fists.

“That I can pass my powers and abilities to another immortal being. Like Jongho or Yeosang. And I would be left human.”

Human. The word echoed in Hongjoong’s mind on repeat, time feeling like it had completely stopped. He was... teaching Jongho what he knew so he could... be human?

“Why?” Hongjoong’s alright light voice was even lighter, cracking at the end, whispered at the beginning. “Why would you give it up?”

Seonghwa shook his head at him, disappointment glittering in his eyes. “Because I love you, Hongjoong. And I can’t imagine living a life without you there. I’ve lived this life for so long now, people who once visited passing on, leaving—this isn’t something I want to keep doing. Not when I’ve found a reason to try something new. Try... being human. Live a fulfilled life with someone, see the world, and not stay inside the gardens forever.”

His heart fell to his damn feet. “What about Yeosang? Isn’t he upset you’d leave?”

Seonghwa smiled a sneaky little smile at that. “Well, not if Jongho’s there. I wasn’t thinking of giving my powers to either of them specifically, actually, the god was to visit me again to discuss my possible leaving... but they got very close, very fast. And I figured they would want to stay together for a long time. So, one of them needed to take my place. Both suggested Jongho.”

So, Yeosang and Jongho were... close. Just gonna say close, he didn’t want to think about that. But Seonghwa cared enough to give up his god nature, give up his powers, immortality, everything he had ever known, just to have a shot at something with him? Hongjoong wasn’t going to cry, but damn if he wasn’t close.

Seonghwa was, truly, without a doubt, the most perfect man in the entire world. And Hongjoong for damn sure wished he had more words to describe what he felt for him. To describe the love in his heart he felt for someone who would give immortality up just for a chance to stay with him. How could you possibly, possibly respond to that? How could one. possibly put into words the weight that came with such feelings?

“Will you go on a date with me?”

Sure, maybe it wasn’t eloquent in any way, but they hadn’t been able to... go on any real dates. Not before the rose became a sort of shrine because of Hongjoong’s insistent pining.

Seonghwa’s mouth fell open, confused for just a second before he broke out into a laugh. Oh, thank God. Hongjoong thought he had fucked up. No, Seonghwa was laughing and reaching a hand up to cover his mouth. He looked happy again and for that, Hongjoong was grateful. Seonghwa was always... perfect. Always supportive of Hongjoong. For that, he would always be grateful.

“Sure, Hongjoong. Let’s go on a date finally.”

~xXx~

So, date didn’t mean fine dining, considering Hongjoong had no money. But it did mean a sit-down meal at least.

Hongjoong knew a nice little hole in the wall that made the best damn tteokbokki he’d ever eaten in his life, wasn’t too expensive, and would let them have some privacy if they sat in the back. Explaining to his team and boss why he needed to suddenly leave in the middle of a workday was.... difficult. But, of course, he promised to have his work done by his deadline regardless.

It was strange being able to walk around with Seonghwa. Seeing him outside, walking the streets Hongjoong took advantage of, and he would be lying if he said it didn’t make butterflies swarm in his stomach watching how happy Seonghwa was walking around. Stars in his eyes, a wonderous flush to his cheeks... fuck, how Hongjoong missed him.

Seonghwa had touched buildings, railings, watched people as they passed, smelled the air when they passed street vendors, and it just made Hongjoong want to give him the entire damn world. Maybe, if they were alright... maybe he could spend his life making that happen.

Truthfully, sitting and waiting for their food was a little awkward. Hongjoong hadn’t been around him in so long, there were so many bad feelings that had filled his heart, but it was Seonghwa. He was so fucking happy to be around him, but he felt horrible for making the mistake of thinking that Seonghwa didn’t care about him when Seonghwa was literally trying to give up his immortality just to try and be with him.

“You haven’t stopped looking at me since we got here, Hongjoong.” Hongjoong blinked back to reality and, yes, he was looking right at him. Seonghwa just gave a little smile. “What’s on your mind?”

_Too much_ , he thought. But he couldn’t say that. “Why did you change your hair? And started wearing black?”

Seonghwa laughed that beautiful, airy laugh again. It made Hongjoong’s heart do flips. “Ah, well, the hair was... you changed your hair a lot, I wanted to try. I didn’t know if I wanted to change the color, but I like it dark. The longer hair I think suits me. The clothes were more because I was planning on pulling away from Jongho and Yeosang as their leader. And become human. And... it felt a little like mourning. Like giving up my entire life for a new one. Wearing all black seemed fitting.”

Hongjoong could understand that. He really, really was giving up his entire life. Everything he had known was held in that garden for decades, but he still wanted a chance to have a real life. Even if it meant having a time limit. Hongjoong supposed, in that sense, that the time limit really is what makes life worth living. It pushes you to experience everything you can. Instead of immortality, which makes life seem slow and drag on, unchanging, a time limit makes things... more exciting.

What an odd feeling. To think so highly of your limited time on Earth.

“I... missed this, Hongjoong. I missed you.” Seonghwa spoke quietly, and Hongjoong refused to interrupt his thoughts. Even as he paused. “I wondered often where you were and what you were doing. But I had no way of reaching you. I was afraid... you wouldn’t want to see me anyways. Even if I did get someone to find you.”

God, he was an ass. He was such an ass to all of them, just because he had been insecure. “I’m sorry. Fuck, Hwa, I’m sorry. I should have just talked to you. I was so scared of losing you and it felt like you were pulling away—I guess I was trying to protect myself. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do without you. I’ve been so bad since I left you that day. I can’t stop thinking about you, you know? I just... missed you. Every single day.”

… Seonghwa was... laughing?

“What?” Hongjoong let out a half laugh, half scoff. “Why are you laughing?”

“Because we’re horrible at this. Both of us thought the other hated them. When it was just a simple misunderstanding. I’ve been the exact same way. I was concerned I was moving too fast or feeling things too quickly, but... I suppose I wasn’t, if you feel the same way.” He stopped, and Hongjoong watched his cheeks flush. “You also haven’t called me ‘Hwa’ in a very long time. I missed it.”

Now Hongjoong was the one blushing. He started laughing, giggling, really, and Seonghwa just joined in with his hands covering his mouth. They stayed like that, being cute, flirting, and getting back to themselves even as their food was brought to them and the guy gave them some concerned looks. It was fine. Because he had Seonghwa again, and that was all that mattered.

Hongjoong fed him his food, joked about how bright Seonghwa’s eyes had gotten when he took his first bite, and made promise after promise about all of the places that he would take him to eat, the things he wanted him to see, and all Seonghwa could do was grin his beautiful grin and agree with everything. Because they were still in love, right? Seonghwa was going to give up an immortal life to be with him and Hongjoong was going to make it the best damn mortal life anyone had ever lived.

When they left the restaurant, they did so hand in hand.

If Seonghwa was going to become human, they had a lot they would need to work on. He would need a job, surely he would live with Hongjoong, they would need to actually buy him clothes and things—yes, yes they had a lot to do. A lot of work and a lot of planning. But, somehow, it didn’t feel like work at all.

Talking about their future and everything they had planned seemed like the most natural thing in the entire world.

~xXx~

“So, when is this god supposed to show up?”

Hongjoong had come to the gardens a few times the weeks following seeing Seonghwa again. Everything had been talked out, explained, and real preparations were made for Seonghwa’s departure. Seonghwa even spoke to the regulars of the garden who knew him, knew what he was, and all of them wished him happiness in his life. Especially the old ladies, who were overjoyed to know he had found love.

Hongjoong and Jongho were fine. They talked everything out and Hongjoong apologized to him a number of times, and Jongho was apologetic about making the situation look bad even when Hongjoong told him he had no reason to apologize. He wished Jongho the best with taking over Seonghwa’s place and wished him luck with Yeosang. Jongho just blushed at that and grinned.

Yeosang was a little harder to talk to. Which was completely understandable. Hongjoong had screamed at him the last time he was there, leaving Yeosang to be the poor man in the middle of the situation. But the thing about Yeosang was that he was incredibly kind and forgiving. Hongjoong felt like he didn’t deserve much forgiveness, but Yeosang talked to him and gave it to him anyways. He was thankful and promised him more food as a thank you.

“Maddox will be here soon, don’t be so impatient.” Seonghwa laughed and cupped Hongjoong’s face in his hands, craning his head down so he could brush their lips together. “I know you’re excited. I am too. It won’t take long but give him a little time.”

They had already gone out and bought things for Seonghwa to have at Hongjoong’s apartment. Just some clothes and pajamas until they could figure out what to do. Hongjoong had let Mingi and Yunho know that Seonghwa would be with him for a little bit because of problems, and the two were overjoyed to know they were together again—but also that the illusive Seonghwa would be with them more.

Finally, Maddox arrived. It was strange, watching a golden door appear out of nowhere and... someone who looked about their age, maybe a little older, walk out. Maddox was taller than Hongjoong, but a little shorter than Seonghwa, with longer black hair and sharp eyes. But he seemed friendly enough.

“Alright, Seonghwa... are you sure about this?” Maddox had taken them to the field by the little lake, standing Jongho and Seonghwa face to face, while Yeosang and Hongjoong stayed back. “I mean, this isn’t something I’ve done in a few centuries. It can’t be undone once it’s passed on from you.”

Seonghwa turned his head to smile lovingly at Hongjoong, then turned back and nodded. “Yes. It’s worth it.”

Hongjoong was so in love with him.

Maddox gave a nod and placed a hand onto Seonghwa’s chest, and Hongjoong watched the other god’s eyes begin to light up, lips muttering something in a language Hongjoong didn’t know, and Hongjoong watched with wide eyes as something was... pulled from Seonghwa’s chest.

A glowing orb, with something almost... swirling around it. Like what one might envision Saturn to look like, but very small.

“Does it hurt?” Yeosang’s low voice quietly called out. He had been serving Seonghwa for so long, Hongjoong couldn’t possibly imagine what was going through his head. In a way, he was losing Seonghwa forever. They could visit, but in a few decades, Seonghwa would no longer exist. Hongjoong was sure this was something that they had talked in detail about.

“No.” Seonghwa’s voice was airy, distant, but there was no sign of pain. “It’s... weird. Like having something pulled out of every vein in my body.

Hongjoong saw Maddox snort a laugh, the essence of Seonghwa’s godhood in his hand. “Because I _was_ pulling it out of every vein you have. Gotta get it all out if Jongho is to succeed you.”

When Maddox started moving towards Jongho, who had his fists clenched, ready, Hongjoong suddenly felt Yeosang’s hand reaching for his own. He turned to look, but the other wasn’t even looking at him. His eyes were fixed right on Jongho. Hongjoong gave a little smile and just linked their fingers together.

Jongho did, in fact, wince when the light was pressed to his chest. Yeosang’s grip tightened. But then... nothing. Maddox moved back, and Jongho was left staring at his hands. There was a new glow to his skin.

“Is that—seriously it?” Hongjoong broke the silence as he tugged Yeosang up to the pair, and Maddox just shrugged.

“It isn’t hard, just uncommon. Most gods don’t want to give their life away to another immortal being. Don’t want to lose that power they have.” Maddox clapped his hands together, pleased to see both parties were fine. “Well, I think that’s it for me. Jongho, I’ll be checking in on you for a while to see how you’re doing.”

Jongho, now with Yeosang brushing his hair back, nodded meekly. “I’ll be here. Thank you, Maddox.”

“Not a problem. You--” He pointed at Seonghwa, who had turned to Hongjoong for a moment. “You I’ll also be checking in on. Make sure everything is fine. Got it?”

“Got it.” Hongjoong linked their fingers together this time. Seonghwa only smiled and pulled him closer.

Maddox gave another wave, taking a moment to talk to Jongho, before the golden door appeared again. And, in an instant, Maddox walked through and was gone again. Seonghwa was right, it really didn’t take any time. At least he wasn’t in pain at all, Hongjoong wasn’t sure he could have gone through that.

“I guess this is the end, huh?” Yeosang stayed by Jongho’s side, but his gaze had flickred up to Seonghwa. “You’re leaving now.”

“Not forever. I’m still going to visit. This has been my home for so long... perhaps I can get a real job here now. Where I can go to the restaurant if I want to.” Seonghwa wrapped his arms around Hongjoong’s waist, giving the side of his head a kiss. “What do you think?”

“Not a bad idea, actually. You don’t have a social security number yet or anything, it’d be hard working anywhere else. And the owners literally know you were a god, so I think it would work out well.” Hongjoong circled his own arms around Seonghwa, and let his head fall against the other’s shoulder. “It’ll help you acclimate to life better to have a job in a familiar place. I can come pick you up and everything.”

Hongjoong heard Jongho laugh and turned his head to see that the other two were smiling way too warmly at them. Right. They weren’t the only ones there.

“I like the idea of hyung still being here every day. Especially while I’m getting used to things.”

“Then it’s settled. I’ll speak to the owner tomorrow.” Seonghwa pulled back from Hongjoong’s hold, which the other almost whined at. “How about we go home for now? My body feels... tired. And that’s not something I usually feel. It's interesting. We can come back tomorrow and see about me getting a job.”

Home. Home meaning Hongjoong’s apartment. Where they could be together, truly, finally, the way they wanted to be.

“Let’s go home, Hwa.”

~xXx~

A lot happened in the months following Seonghwa becoming human.

Of course, having four people in one apartment was getting cramped. Especially two couples. As much as they didn’t want to part, Hongjoong and Seonghwa has to move apartments. Luckily, there was an opening in the same building, and now they were only one floor away. Sleepovers and game nights and dinners were still very common, but no one had to worry about privacy issues. Which Hongjoong and Seonghwa had now.

Seonghwa has talked to the garden owners and they even helped Hongjoong get everything together for Seonghwa to be in the system. They gave him a job giving tours and helping water the flowers. He got to watch over Jongho and Yeosang, who he was told had started quite the cute romance. Hongjoong was happy for them. Beyond happy for them, in fact. And they would be able to be together forever. It was sweet.

Hongjoong was still working with Cherry Cosmos, who were having a wonderful first year. They were set to possibly win female rookie group of the year at a few award shows, for which Hongjoong was so happy for them. They worked incredibly hard. And they were very sweet. The company was even thinking of preparing a boy group to debut in the next year or two.

They went on dates a lot. Hongjoong showed him his favorite places in the city and Seonghwa had taken to Instagram, already had quite the following, so he was always taking pictures of their food and the scenery of their dates. Pictures of Hongjoong were just for him, though. Hongjoong thought it was sweet. And, well, he used Seonghwa’s wonderful photo taking abilities for his own instagram too.

Things were hard at first. Seonghwa acclimating to needing to eat and sleep, having to actually bathe and brush his hair and just… get used to what it meant to be mortal. Money was tight for a bit, but Seonghwa helped Hongjoong sing guides for rejected songs for the girl group and those helped them get by for a while. Seonghwa needing clothes and a plethora of other things meant they had to spend quite a bit of money. But it was worth it. Because they could be together now.

Seonghwa liked cuddling. He liked holding Hongjoong against his chest and kissing his hair when they went to bed, loved being able to hold his hand and stroke his cheek when they were even just watching tv together, and Hongjoong ate every bit of affection up. Even when things were hard and work was stressful, Seonghwa was there to hold him. And Hongjoong did the exact same for Seonghwa as he game to grips with his newfound mortality.

They visited the gardens at night sometimes when everyone left just to have dinner and see Jongho and Yeosang without everyone around. It felt a little bit like nothing had really changed.

Sitting under their tree in the garden, the one by the lake, with Seonghwa resting with his back to his chest, playing with Hongjoong’s hands over his stomach, Hongjoong things maybe his life isn’t as bad as he thought it was going to be. That maybe Fate sent Seonghwa to him, and every single day that they were together was a gift to be treasured. Yeah, every day with Seonghwa really was the best. And he would never take that for granted.

Sitting under the tree in the garden, the one by the lake, Hongjoong thought about love.

And maybe under that tree in the garden, Hongjoong would propose soon.

~xXx~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I’m sorry again chapter two took so long to get out!
> 
> See you soon!


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